My Family

"Life will knock you down. You can choose to stand up again."

Thursday, March 22, 2018

Getting My Float On!

Yesterday, I took the train down to American Fork... where T picked me up. We drove to Provo and found our float spot. It's a lovely place right near Provo Canyon. The girl was very nice and the place was extra, extra clean and zen-like. We watched a video about how the filter could suck us in if we don't get out soon enough... then the fake animated character laughed about it. I was not laughing! We took a tour of the spot and she introduced us to our capsules -- our floatation spot for 60 minutes.

I was a bit nervous, mostly because I had never done it before and I didn't know what to expect. I think T was more interested in my facial expressions as things were explained to us!

Then, we each went to our own personal rooms. I stripped down to nothin' and then showered in the in-room shower. Seriously, People... BEST shower head EVER!!!!

Then, in to the capsule I went. It's approximately 10 inches of salt water. The water temperature adjusts to our skin temperature. I got in... did NOT close the lid to the capsule... and began to float. I immediately went in to my meditation and I'm telling you - my brain shut off and I floated for 60 minutes. It was so relaxing. My brain got its nap for the week and my body was just able to be. For the first time since December 10th, all parts of my body felt EQUALLY strong. It was almost emotional for me.

I strongly recommend this place! I believe there is a different company located in Roy. I just might check them out. T bought our tickets through Groupon for an extra good deal.. hint hint.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Single Mom Gig - Supporting Mama

If you haven't heard, I'm a Younique Presenter now. I am selling this amazing makeup and skin care in order to pay my medical bills from the stroke.

My boys have been my biggest supporters... seriously. Both Jackson and Braxton are having virtual Facebook parties at the moment. Obviously, they aren't doing it to earn makeup. They are doing it because they support me and they love me and they want to help me succeed with whatever it is I'm doing.

They help me set up for Facebook Lives. They help me set up parties. They help me with computer stuff. They help me to organize and get work done.

They encourage me and laugh at me when I have masks all over my face. They love me and they are my biggest cheerleaders. I am so grateful that I am so blessed in my single mom gig.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Prom 2018

Braxton Boy went to Prom on Saturday. His cute date was Madi (I can't wait to see all of the pictures that were taken!!). These pictures are from our house before they left...
They went to the Trampoline Park for their "day activity." Then they went to Outback Steakhouse for dinner, got pictures done, and then to the dance they went! The only hiccup was that Peanut forgot his debit card. LOL!!! He came home and got it... with people in the car. I loved it!

He looked so handsome and had such a good time!

Friday, March 16, 2018

Life Isn't Always Easy

Last night was an extraordinarily bad night. Because I respect the privacy of my children's feelings and emotions AND because I am learning to respect my own, I won't go in to details. I will say this, though:

Life isn't always easy!

After the extraordinarily difficult events took place, the bishop came over and said, "So, Jackson. I forgot to tell you last night while we were doing your initial missionary interview that Satan is about to blast a storm against you that is epic. He will stop at nothing to keep you from going on a mission. He will use your family against you. He will use anything at his disposal."

Can't wait...

Well, Satan was on his game last night and we were not prepared!

But, here's the thing... Heavenly Father is stronger. The atonement is stronger. Families are stronger. We pulled out of it together... with a loving bishop and my sweet and strong brother who is always there with his Priesthood. We pulled out of it together with a couple of phone calls to R, who is in Chicago, and changed his flight to come home tonight to be with Braxton. We pulled out of it with a phone call to my T, who let me cry (the ugly cry) and then made arrangements to be with me, even though I shut her down.

And this...

This was the outcome, the final period on Satan's effort to destroy us.

This embrace.

This love.

This forgiveness.

This mercy and grace.

This use of the atonement.

Sooooooo.... next time you want to throw a storm our way, Satan... try to remember that we are the storm. Try to remember that our Savior has given us a safety net to get up and try again. Jackson is going on a mission, worthy and ready. Just so you know...

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Occupational Therapy - The Tasty Kind

I baked in the hospital as part of OT. There is a full kitchen in the therapy gym room. I had to be able to utilize the kitchen, read and follow a recipe, and bake some brownies and cookies before I was discharged from OT. I absolutely loved those days in therapy. I felt "normal" doing something like baking. I felt like my mama instincts were still there. I felt like I was doing something for others again, because I would always share the cookies with my friends (fellow patients).

Because I was still unable to read, I would cover my left eye with my hand and follow the recipe instructions as best as I could. I would turn the oven off, and write a reminder to myself to turn it back off. I would crack the eggs, dig the shells out of the bowl because my left side was not on point yet... I would measure the sugars and the flour with a little help from my therapist. Then, I would eat the dough because that's what I do! While the goodies were baking, I would ask if I could re-organize the cupboards. It felt so much more like home than anything else I did... and how I longed to be home with my boys, being a mama... a good, worthwhile mama.

I have continued baking since I came home. I love this therapy because the reward is immediate. I can see that what I did worked and that I did well right away. There is so much baking in my house because of this. Last night, I made sugar cookies and dipped them in chocolate. We had strawberries in the fridge with left over chocolate, so I dipped a carton full of strawberries, too. My boys love it! My guys at work love it! Whenever I come in with treats (which is often), my guys say, "Sis has been doing therapy again!!!"

Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Rub Downs

Daily, the rehab gym was full of those of us learning to move our hands, sit up, roll over, transfer, stand up, put pegs in holes, walk, climb stairs, ride bikes, match up cards, bake, etc. It was full of music, laughter, and love. Always so much love! It was always a happy place... a positive place. I loved therapy everyday. Loved it. I was so set on working my trash off because I felt like if I did, I was getting closer to going home with my boys. That was what I wanted. There were also tears... of joy, of frustration, of fear, etc. I cried when I couldn't roll over the first 20 times I tried. I cried when I took my first steps. I cried when I did my first squats. I cried when I baked my first cookies. I cried when I would get stretched. I cried when I left.

Within those walls, there is also yoga and rub downs. The muscles that aren't getting used like what they are used to need to be stretched and worked a lot. It also helps with the sensations, I learned. The more touch, the more stretching, the more work... the more feeling I had.

When I was discharged, I noticed a difference when I was no longer getting stretched and rubbed down. A sweet girl in my ward volunteered to come to my house twice a week to give me a massage on my left side. It helped so much. I noticed such a change in the amount of sensation I was getting back when she came. She has a little baby and it became hard for her to come. I went to the nails place near my home a few weeks after I got discharged. They had missed me! They began to rub my leg and foot once a week... just because. They don't speak very much English, but they get SO excited each time they get more movement out of my foot and leg. Yesterday as they were rubbing my foot, it was ticklish for the first time since the stroke! They all gathered around to watch me react to the sensation. They are so much a part of it and I am so blessed with a team that cares so much about my recovery!!!

Today, I feel strong. I feel a good amount of energy. I feel like I will be able to rest tomorrow and then I am very hopeful that I will have a good amount of energy on Thursday and Friday. That's the goal!

Monday, March 12, 2018

Just Trust, Heidi Ray!

We got to love on babies on Saturday. Asher is on the go like you cannot believe! He is everywhere, within seconds and in a way it makes me very sad! I remember being so grateful as my boys became mobile because there were so many of them and holding everyone was never a legit possibility. I don't feel that way with my sweet nephews. I want them to stay little forever. Watching Asher be so independent and wanting to walk instead of having Auntie hold him is sad to me! Sweet Anson is sitting up so big. He had some doozies of dumps on Saturday. Luckily, Kaydon is a master diaper changer and even offers to do it for me!

After my doctor's appointment on Friday, I went home and rested for a bit. I was not looking forward to the appointment, but left feeling very relieved. The doctor was able to pinpoint what took place on Wednesday and we were able to come up with tools to help me now and moving forward. She has decided that my body and brain need a break in the middle of the week. So, I will be working five hour days, except on Wednesdays, which I will have off. I am over throwing up resistance. I am ready to just trust the process and focus on the good. No more pity parties for this girl for now... for sure there will be some in the future!!