My Family

"Life will knock you down. You can choose to stand up again."




Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Time

Sunday after church, I took a drive all by myself. I took I84 to I80 West and in to Park City. The drive there and back was exquisite. The colors are so bold. There are reds and golds. Along the highway are small streams that were glistening with the midday sun reflecting off of the cold water. There were no cars on the road. Just me and a couple of truckers. I had the NFL football game on the radio until all I heard was static. Then it was just me and the sound of the truck driving. It was such a beautiful drive and I was able to think. Just me.


Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Single Mom Gig - The Things They Say

For the most part, my boys are really good at telling me everything. Tuesday night, Kaydon came back from a fireside and came in to my dark room where I was reading my scriptures on my phone. He asked if he could talk to me. I, of course, obliged. He walked in, turned on the light, closed the door, then sat on the floor. He told me that he had done something bad and that he was so sorry. I asked him what it was and he told me. Then he apologized repeatedly. I explained that he doesn't need to apologize to me, that I love him just the same and that I was so grateful that he told me. He told me that he had repented and felt like the Savior accepted that. I told him how important that was. He asked me if I felt like he should tell the Bishop. I told him that a decision like that was completely up to him. He told me how sorry he was, again, and told me that he loved me.

As he walked out, I wept. Not sad or frustrated tears. But, humble and grateful tears. I am ever thankful that these boys are mine and that they are trying so dang hard to do what is right.



Friday was a rough (like shit show mess) day. I got a call from the school at 1:30. I was told I needed to get to the school, where Colton was with the principal and a police officer. I won't get in to details about the allegations, because it's not necessary and because I believe that Colton deserves due process just like anyone else - if not more so... But, suffice it to say that a girl made an allegation and Colton was screaming and crying and yelling that he did nothing wrong. He did not understand and could not comprehend what was happening. He was scared and completely confused. I was furious (assuming that this happened), scared, and just exhausted. I went in for another meeting regarding the situation Monday morning, early. It turns out the school has not been following all of the things that we had spoke of. That will be changing. He is exhausted. So is Mama.

The older Colton gets, the harder life becomes for him. The older he gets, the larger the span between his physical age and stature and his behavioral and emotional age. His good friends are in 4th and 5th grade. He is in 8th. If Colton is told me a kid that they will be his friend if he does something or if someone dares him to do something, with the promise that they will then be his friend, he will do it in a heartbeat. He doesn't have the cause and effect that neuro-typical people do.

It's about adjusting and finding what works today because every single day is different.

But, we are doing it. We are trying so hard to do it.

Monday, October 16, 2017

Their Many Faces

I got to spend most of my Saturday with the babes.

The many faces of Asher:
This little man is sitting up so big and is SO close to crawling. He gets himself wherever he needs to go!

The many faces of Anson:
This little man is either super happy and chill and smiling or he is screaming bloody murder!!

Saturday night, they both opted to start screaming at the same time for no apparent reason. I bundled them up, put them in the stroller and went for a long, long walk!!

Friday, October 13, 2017

Friday Favorites - Lip Plumper!!!

This bundle of goodness arrived on Tuesday. I texted Miss T on Friday or Saturday or Sunday (can't remember) and told her that I needed more eye brow gel, eye liner, and that I always love mascara! She replied that it would all be arriving the next day. She kind of knows how I roll! When I opened the box, I had two new surprises - eyelash serum & epic mascara AND lip plumper. O to the M to the G!!!!


First of all, I have loved every single mascara option Younique has had. Love it. Remember, I used to pull my eyelashes out... I don't anymore! LOVE! But, this eyelash serum and epic mascara... YOU WANT THIS IN YOUR STOCKING. You're welcome.

Second of all, lip plumper. I have never worn lip stick or lip gloss. They feel really uncomfortable to me. I don't wear that much makeup to begin with. I definitely re-apply chap stick all day long, but no lip stick. This lip plumper is the bomb dot com. Ladies... put it on your Christmas list NOW.

Then, give that list and this link to your people who will be buying you Christmas gifts:
Teresa's Beauty Shop

Again, it's my pleasure!!

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

When They Play Together

Last night, I was cleaning up downstairs and was headed back upstairs. I looked out the window and saw this:
These boys are so blessed to have each other. Sometimes they don't think so. In fact, probably a lot of the time they don't think so. But, they are. They were out playing frisbee last night, laughing and razzing each other. Then they headed to a fireside. I love those boys so much!

In the meantime, I ran to Brandon's office because the babes were there. How can I not run over to love on them?!?!

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Single Mom Gig - It's All Me

Colton is at work with me this morning. He has his Autism check-up today. So, I dropped his brother off at school and Colton and I came to work. We will be here until it's time to head to his appointment. Then I will drop him off at school and come back to work. It's all me.


I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be a stay-at-home mom. What would it be like to go volunteer in their classrooms? What would it be like to take them to their appointments without worrying about how quickly I have to get back to work? What would it be like to be there when they get home from school? What would it be like to make an after-school snack? What would it be like to have them call me from school because they were sick and be able to just go get them... without having to figure out how I am going to do that because I am in the middle of a meeting. What would it be like to not rush home to fix a quick dinner so that I can have some mama time at the gym for 45 minutes? What would it be like to not have to worry about how we are going to afford groceries this week?

Then I take a step back in to my reality. I am so blessed. These boys are beyond amazing. They absolutely go with the flow. They never complain. If tuna casserole is what's for dinner, then that's what's for dinner. If Jackson has to check out of school to get a sick brother from school, he doesn't complain. He just helps his mama. If the house isn't clean... which it never is... we do our best to help each other clean it up.

Last night, a sweet friend came to the door. I was about to run away... for real! It was one of those nights. She laughed and told me that she thought I was amazing. I think SHE is amazing. Her mom passed away a couple of months ago. It has been so hard for her. She lived with her mom and cared for her. She has never married and does not have children. In that moment, I realized that I am doing just fine. As I think about our challenges... and everyone has challenges... I realize that I have been blessed with four boys. I have been blessed with the opportunity to care for them, to teach them, to train them, to direct them, and to LOVE them. I have been trusted with their spirits. I have been trusted to wipe their tears, and my own.

It's all me. But, really... we are doing just fine.

Monday, October 9, 2017

The Weekend

Saturday morning, I woke up to Braxton bringing me in some breakfast. Yep, he's pretty cute! I ate it up and headed to the gym. So yummy!
Friday night, we met Brandon and Carrie at Farmington Station. I have to love on those boys as often as possible. They absolutely love the fountains. They are enthralled by them. It's the cutest dang thing!
Sunday, Jackson made homemade noodles. DELICIOUS.