My Family

"Life will knock you down. You can choose to stand up again."




Friday, May 25, 2018

Friday Favorites - This Family

Brandon and Carrie have made THE most beautiful family - full of love, laughter, organization, beauty, hard work, team work, lots of diapers, lots of naked babies running around because they don't want a diaper put on them, lots of crockpot meals, lots of sleepiness, lots of toys everywhere... And I could not be more grateful to be a part of it! I love these four to the moon and back!

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Spring Softball

We pulled off another lunch and softball tournament on Monday.

I love doing this for my guys, and the entire department. But, it is one of the most stressful days of the year for me. It's feeding over 100 people. It's making sure everything is where it needs to be when it needs to be there. It's making sure that my "helpers" are ready to roll. It's making sure restrooms are open and working, softball equipment is ready to go, there is plenty of drinks for old guys playing softball. It's making sure I keep my emotions in check because I'm missing P. It's making sure I just enjoy the smiles on everyone's faces and realizing that this is all worth it.

When I got to work on Monday, I stopped by Vince's office. I told him that this was a day when I am maybe slightly more high-strung and on edge. Billiam poked his head in and told Vince and he, Mr. Watkins, and Ernie would help him out with my looks... lol... you know, when I give "the look" it's time for people to jump in to action. That was always P's job. Now, it falls on everyone else. Just getting out of the grocery store with eight carts packed full is a trip... then loading them into the truck without anything spilling out is another adventure. Making everything on-site and not losing my mind... you get the picture.

Rock's crew was already grilling when we arrived. The canopies and tables were already set up. Restrooms were open and stocked. There was a cold Diet Coke waiting for me. I made salads while Vince and Billiam loaded coolers with ice, soda, water, and my salad dressings and yogurts that needed to stay cold. Cookies, rolls, salads, fruit trays, and steak sauce was set out on tables. I ate about two entire steaks in "tastes." Those guys know just how to make this girl happy! I don't think I even needed to give any looks the whole day! The weather could not have been better. The three softball games were fun and competitive and so entertaining. Sit this girl at a ball game and I am at my HAPPIEST.

P, I miss you everyday. Doing things without you that we always did together doesn't seem to be getting easier. But these guys. Oh, you trained them so well. They know exactly what I need and when I need it. I can't wait to see you play softball again with your guys. I can't wait to hear you heckle the guys at home plate. We miss you!

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Anson Turns ONE

Anson James turned ONE yesterday. This beautiful baby is the sweetest, most smiley, most lovey baby of all time. He loves to sit up and be big! He loves to stand and jump jump jump. He loves to watch Big Brother do everything and sometimes gets very jealous when he can't participate! He steals the hearts of everyone immediately! We love this baby to the moon and back!

Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Single Mom Gig - My Girls

I feel very strongly that all females are mothers. We all have the responsibility to make a difference in childrens' lives. Whether we birthed them or not. We are all mothers.

I have been immensely blessed to mother four outstanding warriors. They are my entire reason for being, really. They are my joy. They are my examples of goodness and love and patience and integrity. They teach me far more than I could ever teach them. They are my everything.

Did you know that girls are quite different than boys?? They are! There are more tears, more drama, pleading for makeup days and mask days and nail days. They are warm and funny. They are beautiful and inspirational. These two girls have my heart. When they cry big tears because they just want to stay with me for the night, my big tears start flowing, too!

Let's be honest... Kaydon is the favorite of Lady Cakes (age 3). She goes and gets him every couple of minutes to push her on the swing or play chalk. He is very obedient!

Pey (6) loves to play with whomever! She loves having the choice of four boys to play with. She loves playing tag with Colton and legoes with all of them.

I love everything about them. They have such a good mom and such a good dad. Being a bonus mama is quite a blessing.

Monday, May 21, 2018

Temple Day

Saturday morning, Jackson and Kaydon met Nana and Pops at the Bountiful Temple. Pops had 40 family names for them to do. They got through 28.

For the first time, Jackson was able to perform all of the baptisms. He described it as very emotional and something that he wishes he could do every single day.

They told me of a long wait, not knowing why it was so long. They told me that the lady at the desk stood to tell them that the wait was due to a father, dying from cancer. His son had just turned 12. The father wanted to participate in baptisms for the dead with his worthy son before he passed through the veil. Jackson asked that they take as long as needed. Jackson said it was very emotional to hear her tell them of something so sacred and so important between a dying father and his 12 year old son.

Jackson is ready. He is ready to be a worthy and honorable Melchezidek Priesthood holder. He is ready to serve a full-time mission to wherever he is called. He is ready.

Kaydon is beyond excited to be ready. He is following in his brother's footsteps and is the greatest example to our family of worthiness, consistency and honoring the Priesthood which he holds.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Friday Favorites - Belief

Some weeks, it just seems like it's harder to make it to Friday. Then, once we do - it's a sh*t show mess!

That has been this week. Work has been crazy. The boys are SO done with school. Jackson is having his wisdom teeth out next Friday. Then graduation. Colton is done and done with school this year. Braxton is struggling with life. Kaydon is just Kaydon. I have been struggling with my left hand this week... everything is totally fine, but I have come to understand that my left hand is just not as strong as it used to be and certainly not as strong as my right hand. I try not to think about it, but when I do I cry. Then I pick myself back up and keep going. It's just nothing but a thing!

Braxton sat on my bed this week and asked, "What's the point? We are all just here to die anyways!!" Yeah, this mama didn't take lightly to that. I explained to him that we are here for so much more than to just die. I told him that as I laid in the hospital after being told I had just experienced a stroke and I was paralyzed, I thought of all of the things I may not be able to do again. I sobbed as I thought about how I'd never be able to take care of my children again, the house again, my work again. I thought about how I would never be a multi-tasker again. I thought about how I'd never be able to pull my hair back again or curl my hair again or color again. I thought about everything that I "couldn't" or "wouldn't" again. Then I shut myself right up and decided it was time to battle. I told myself every night that in the morning, I would walk. The next morning I woke up. I couldn't walk, but I could talk. Did that make that day a failure? Nope. The next morning, I didn't walk, but I could move my thumb to my index finger. Was that day a failure? Nope. The next morning, I still couldn't walk, but I could swallow. So, was that day a failure? Nope. I could have seen them as failures because I wasn't walking, but instead I saw them as HUGE victories, as big successes, as enormous tender mercies. I saw them as coulds and woulds and dids.

When we believe that who we are and where we are and what we are and why we are is enough, then it becomes enough. It becomes more than enough. When we see our lives as abundant, no matter what our situation is, then it is abundant. And good. And enough. So, today I choose to get through my Friday in abundance and joy and coulds and woulds and dos and dids. Today, I choose to believe in good.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Rest Days

My rest days are still so invaluable. I get some good sleep and some much-needed rest throughout the day. The last several weeks, Phil has made sure to get some good food in me. He takes me to Cracker Barrel for breakfast every Wednesday morning when I wake up. I usually get an omelet, because I'm an omelet kinda girl. Yesterday, I got french toast. Mmmm mmmm good!! And we got the waitress who puts chocolate syrup on my whipped cream on my hot chocolate. Best day ever!

Later in the afternoon, I took Kaydon to take his driver's permit test. He failed both tries. So did Jackson and Braxton. The third time will be the charm, I'm sure of it.


Being with a police officer is so different than I ever imagined. I get anxiety and worry about him while he is out on patrol. He is extremely good at what he does, but the risks are there and I know it. He checks in throughout his shifts and we make a point to see each other every single day, which is a huge blessing. He texts me every night when he gets home. Wednesdays are his Fridays. So, this was what I got last night. A few days of no worry!