"Life will knock you down. You can choose to stand up again."
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Oh dear me sakes... they called me to Young Women! What were THEY thinking? When our new bishop asked me to accept the calling, I asked him if he said "Young MENS" or "Young Womens." He looked at me, rolled his eyes, and reiterated the calling. Doesn't he know that I have four BOYS? Doesn't he know that I HATED Young Women's when I was a young woman? Doesn't he know that I don't do Young Women's? He reminded me that Young Women's is really no different than Nursery. Of course I accepted the calling, but not without throwing myself on my bed after church and sobbing into my pillow while Josh asked me what in the world happened at church to upset me so much and Brooklyn told him that "Mommy been cwying for free hours, Dad!" I did have a really neat experience at that moment, and it has been confirmed since then. I'd like to document the experience so that I don't forget it. It's yet one more experience in my life that reminds me that we are God's children and He KNOWS us, all of us. When the shock of the calling wore off, I had a name come to my mind. "Emily." I knew that there was a young woman in our ward named Emily, but I don't know her. This past Sunday was my first day in with the young women. As they went around the room and introduced themselves by telling me their name, I learned who "Emily" was. There are so few young women in our ward that they are not broken up by classes. We all meet together and all of our activities are together. There was no doubt in my mind, at that moment, that I was put in this calling because of "Emily." Oh, how she needs someone right now. The light is gone in this girl. Complete darkness resides in this girl. She is mean, snotty, offish, cold, and just dark. After church, I approached her mom. I asked what it would take to break her daughter. I also told her that there was no doubt, whatsoever, that her daughter was the reason I was in this calling. Her mom said this, "Oh, our family will pray for you!! May God bless you!!" Great! I know that He will bless me... and Emily. Emily reminds me of me. She is so stubborn. She is not wanting to make good choices, because that would mean that she was living up to everyone else's standards for her. She wants to be stand-offish. It's safe that way. She hates everything her mom stands for. She hates her mom right now. Oh, Emily. You're in for some fun with me! If Emily were able to read this, which she isn't because it's private, I would tell her this: Emily, I am not here to make you believe in the church. I am not here to make you want to go on a mission, or be married in the temple. I am not here to make you like me. You can hate me, if you choose. But I promise you that by December 31, 2014 you will KNOW that YOU, Emily E., are a daughter of God. Oh, you are a daughter of God. He knows you, Emily. He knows you hate Him right now. He knows you are lost in this world right now. Out of everyone in this world, he knows YOU, and He has sent me to you to pull you out of the darkness. I will NOT let Him down. I will NOT let YOU down. You might not like me during any point of this journey, and that's perfectly fine. But, you will break. You will be able to look yourself in the mirror and tell that reflection of your beautiful self that you are a daughter of God, and you are good enough. That's a promise. This won't be an easy journey. I will probably cry more than you. But I will not give up on you. That's my promise to you, Emily E. Game on.