My Family

"Life will knock you down. You can choose to stand up again."

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Squat Like You Mean It

My sweet friend and co-worker started this squat challenge group on Facebook. Being the nimrod I am, I joined up with it! Why not?! Why not experience such pain in my legs that I can't lift my right leg up onto the step, so I just faceplant into it instead!! It's awesome. But seriously, today is a rest day. Yesterday, I did 140 squats. REAL squats, like REAL squats People! We are half way there and every single day I feel stronger and stronger. I haven't missed a day. It is the best feeling! As someone who struggled mightily with an eating disorder for years, I could not be more proud of myself. First, I have maintained my 120 pounds for four years! When I entered the hospital four years ago, I was 103. 120 is awesome! And, I love that I can say that it is awesome! I am so proud of myself! I am also so excited that I can say (and really mean) that strong is so much better than skinny! I love that my body can do these things, that it can squat, lift light weights, walk fast and strong, and EAT. I have found so much joy in eating. Don't get me wrong, the little voice in the back of my head will always be there... the one that says, "You are fat and ugly and worthless and disgusting and gross and unworthy of food." But now I am able to tell it to SHUT UP. Every time I tell that voice that I am strong and strong is way cooler than skinny and that I am worthy of every single piece of food I put in my mouth AND leave in my stomach... I win. Squat like you mean it!!

Monday, March 17, 2014

Josh's Pain in the Neck

Josh had neck surgery on Friday. For some reason, I am a bit emotional about it TODAY. Everything went great. His C6 and C7 vertebrae had collapsed onto each other. It took the surgeon quite a while to get in there because of his muscle mass and amount of soft tissue. But, once he got in there, it was a smooth surgery. Josh has a VERY narrow spinal canal. The surgeon expects that he will have to have more surgery in the future. He came out of recovery very nicely. My sweet dad was there with me the entire day. My sweet step-mom came and gave the nurses a run for their money! (She is a weeeeeee bit protective) My mom and her boyfriend came to visit, as did Josh's dad and his girlfriend. Amanda brought Brooklyn on Friday night and that was just what Josh needed. That little girl is his whole world. My step-mom also brought the boys. It was so good to see the boys relax, knowing that Josh was going to be okay. He is at home resting this week and we are hoping for a speedy recovery and lots of wrestling on the floor in the near future!

Monday, March 10, 2014

Lots to Say

Dearest Teresa, this here is for you! ;) So, there have been a few things going on lately. I still don't have a blasted cord for my camera, so I still have no blasted pictures which makes me a little blasted angry, but whatever. First of all, we are all alive. You're welcome. Second, there are no new injuries or diseases to report. Aflac, you're welcome. Third, parent/teacher conferences (the second worst event each year closely behind pap smears) are over. The children will most likely move onto the next grade. All teachers who have had more than one of my children, you're welcome. Fourth, Joshua will be having neck surgery at the end of this month. Joshua, you're welcome. They will be removing his C7 and fusing that sucker together. It should help all of his pain go away. TOSH, you're welcome. Fifth, I will not be getting a 4.0 this semester and I'm okay with that. As B Beck always says, "C's earn degrees!"
Sixth, we will be moving. Yep, moving. My poor children. My mom is getting married around May or June. The boys and I will move out when school is out for my boys. We will most likely be moving to the Layton area. It is cheaper and that is where Joshua currently lives and coaches. That, of course, means that Joshua and I will probably get married and move in together as a big, happy family. B Beck, you're welcome. ;) After the shock of it all, I sat down and started to plan out how I was going to do this. I have sent out 20 letters to bishops in Layton, Syracuse, and Kaysville, asking if they know of any senior couples who would like a family of seven to stay in their home while they're away. After many tears and different thoughts, I decided that I will stay and school and finish it out rather than get a second job. I know that things will work out if I do. I went back to school because of very personal revelation from my Heavenly Father. I will stay in school for the same reason. I trust Him. The boys are all handling this a bit differently. Kaydon is pretty much packed. Colton is worried that the neighbors won't like us. Jackson and Braxton are sad about leaving their friends and church leaders. Me too. But, we will be okay.
I hate Gospel Doctrine class... like a lot. I always feel like it's full of old people who have the Old Testament memorized. I feel like I am incapable of even giving the opening prayer in there! However, yesterday's lesson was amazing. Simply amazing. It was about Abraham and Isaac... the whole sacrifice story. First, I learned more about that story than I had ever known before, which made Abraham's faith and obedience even more astounding. Just for clarification, I'm quite sure that if I received revelation to sacrifice my child, I would question where that was coming from and most likely NOT DO IT. Abraham, however, had perfect trust in God. Our teacher asked us, "So, after all you've been through... after all you've experienced... after all that you have been blessed with... when are you going to trust in God?" It was exactly what I needed to hear. She also talked about time frames. Clearly God's time frame is not the same as ours. God had promised Abraham when Abraham was very young that he would have children. He had to wait 100 YEARS People!!! I'm pretty sure that around year 35, I would have began doubting if I actually received that answer to my prayer, or if I had just made it up myself. Don't we do that? Don't we receive an answer to our prayer that seems so real and so sincere, and then we sit around a wait for it, starting to question our own faith? I do! But, we need not do that. Sometimes blessings come quick, sometimes they take a long time, and some won't come until Heaven, but they'll come!
Finally, I also taught in Young Women's yesterday. Gosh, I love those girls and the other leaders. They are valiant and beautiful and faithful and modest and full of integrity. We talked about faith. We talked about our own faith and the faith of those in the scriptures. We watched my favorite Mormon Message, "Good things to come." I love it. I cry every single time. My life lesson over the last couple of weeks: Don't give up. Don't quit. Hold fast to what you already know. Trust in God. Really trust in Him. Talk to Him often. Ask for His help. Remember our divine nature. And, carry on.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Girls Night

Brooklyn and I had a girls night on Friday night. We went and bought her some high heels that she has been begging for. They are adorable! Then, we went and got ice cream for brothers, dad and me! She didn't want any. She is VERY silly that way. Who doesn't want ice cream?!?! Then we went home, played with legos and called it a good night! I love this girl. She is going through some mood swings. Aren't we all?! But, she is a sweetheart and I love that she still crawls onto my lap and loves on me.