My Family

"Life will knock you down. You can choose to stand up again."

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Those Days

This, here, is a picture of Jackson (pulling Braxton's ear), Braxton (wearing matching pj's as Jackson), and Kaydon (sitting up so big on the couch with his NG tube). I'm pretty sure Colton is in the bassinet to Jackson's right. This was my life for a long time. I was a single mom of four amazing little monsters. I remember having Colton in my backpack, Kaydon and Braxton in the double stroller - pushing Kaydon's feeding tube pole along the side with my left hand while pushing the stroller with my right, and Jackson holding on to my pocket, walking beside me. This is how we went everywhere. Grocery shopping was a treat. Going anywhere was a treat. I look back on those days and wonder how on earth we made it through. I say "we" because I got up with Kaydon during the night, while my mom and dad took turns getting up with Colton. I say "we" because hospital staff, in-home physical therapists and occupational therapists and hospice nurses were always present. I say "we" because my brothers used to help me take everyone to doctor appointments. I say "we" because Nursery and Primary teachers were ever present. I say "we" because I had the greatest babysitter across the street, Katie, who was always a phone call away so that I could go for hour breaks. I say "we" because my Heavenly Father NEVER, ever left me alone. I struggled greatly with my attitude, with my motivation, with my drive, with staying above water. But, He never gave up on me. I say "we" because although I tried everything possible to fail, He would not let me. He was with me all along the way. I am so thankful for those days, and I am so thankful that we are past those days. I am so thankful for the people that Heavenly Father put on my path to help us along the way. I am so thankful that He has never given up on me. Ever.

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