My Family

"Life will knock you down. You can choose to stand up again."




Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Hard to Be

Jackson attended Youth Conference at the end of last week. He came home Saturday, sat on our bed, and cried. He is such a sweet, sensitive, emotional boy. He is a good boy. Right now, it is hard. He is going to be 16 years old in two months. He starts 10th grade this year. He expressed that he doesn't have any friends in West Point, that he simply follows kids around. He expressed that he misses his friends in Sandy so much. He expressed that it's just hard right now.

As he cried, I cried. My heart broke. I fully understand that my choices have led to multiple schools and lots of changes for these kids of mine. None of that is easy. In fact, it is super hard!

He said that kids think he is weird. He said that kids prefer to hang around kids who swear, and who are disrespectful and rude. He said that he just can't be that person. Josh tried to lift him up, telling him that things will change this year, with a driver's license and a part-time job. I just kept right on crying.

Here's the thing - I had zero friends growing up. None. I was always a loner, and considered to be a loser. I was a home-body, and that ended up being okay with me. I am now aware of what social and emotional damage that did to me growing up. It lingered into adulthood. The words that people said to me stuck to me like stickers put on Wemmicks. The fact that I went to one dance stunk. Feeling like I didn't belong, like I wasn't good enough, like everyone must be right about me... it created who I became... until six years ago when I learned a different way.

My dearest Jackson - and all other kiddos who feel like this is REALLY crappy - this is but a small moment of eternity. This is a little black pen mark on a piece of string stretched between your house and the neighbor's. This is a time that is meant to be hard, but that is also meant to be full of joy. Keep on keeping on. Really! Do something everyday that makes you smile, even if it is sticking a lemon peel in your mouth, or killing a fly, or singing a silly song. Remember who you are and the infinite worth that you have. And, please do NOT ever forget to pray. Pray for good friends. Pray for strength to stay on the path that you have worked so hard to walk on to this point. Pray for courage to be who you are everyday. Don't let the stickers stick to you. Remember Lucia? She just let them fall right off. Think of Lucia when things are hard.

Sometimes it's hard to be, and that's okay. It's good to be you!

Monday, June 29, 2015

Temple Terror & Triumph

I took my endowment out almost twenty years ago. It was a lovely day. A couple of months later, I went to the St. George Temple to do a session. It was an utter and complete failure. I vowed never to go back. Ever. Without disclosing too much, the helper at the veil was much less than helpful. In fact, she would not help me at all and I was stuck at the veil for a very long time. It was a nightmare. After this experience, my mom drove down to St. George and took me to the Temple. She spoke with the Matron of the Temple, told her of my experience, and pleaded with her for help. The sweet Matron then gave my mom and I a private room in the Temple so that my mom could practice the veil portion with me. I have had it memorized ever since and repeat it to myself quietly almost every day.
I knew that I needed to go to the Temple on Saturday. I just knew I needed to be there. I drove up there and presented my recommend at the front desk. I was then told that the name in the system did not match the name on my recommend. I was asked to take a seat in the lobby while the recorder was called to the desk. Terror swept over me. There I was, alone, again, and feeling like I was not going to be allowed in the Temple on the day I knew I needed to be there. The recorder came out, took my recommend and disappeared. I sat there. Alone. All alone. Several minutes later, the recorder returned and called me to go back with him. I cried. He told me that everything was fine, that it was simply my maiden name in the system and apologized that the front desk made such a big deal out of it. I told him that I felt like I was not going to be allowed to enter. He explained to me that he was the previous bishop in my ward and asked where we lived. He was kind and compassionate. I was grateful. I pulled myself together and went to dress.
I received the name of the sweet girl I was going through for. She only had a first name. No last name. Yet, I knew that she was known to our Heavenly Father. It was a very small session, in fact just enough couples to fill the prayer circle. When I made it to the veil, I was ready as I always am. Then, I realized that my helper at the veil was training. It was her first day. She was so nervous. She couldn't get any of her part right. I was so willing to stand there as long as needed so that she could feel comfortable and get it right! I had my part down. She just needed to get her feet under her and feel confident in her part. Either way, I wanted her to take her time.

Together, we triumphed. When I got to the other side, I hugged the man standing there. I'm pretty sure that threw him off. It's okay! I was reminded that we are imperfect people trying to live as part of a perfect gospel. We are all in this together. We need to be patient with one another. We need to be kind. Heavenly Father knows us perfectly. I love to see the Temple!

Thursday, June 25, 2015

KK Taps

Kaydon is a funny, funny boy. He NEEDS time with Dad. Badly. He needs a certain amount of time with Dad every week or he really struggles. How does he ensure that he has time with Dad? He drives Dad out of his mind until Dad spends time with him... and just him. For instance, he'll dump a drink on Josh, or he'll make fun of him, or he'll trip him. You get the idea! This was an issue last Saturday. It didn't turn out well for KK. Dad tackled him outside and doused him with the hose. Dad made him be his servant and get his drinks and food for him. Then, Dad wrestled with him until he tapped out. All the while, KK was THRILLED because he got time with Dad. The end.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Food and More Food

Yesterday, the City had its big employee picnic. Me and my peeps went and ate A LOT of food. We all won prizes, too, which was completely and total awesome! Then, last night we took the boys to the food truck extravaganza that takes place in Layton every Tuesday and Thursday night. It was a lot of fun and everyone went home satisfied!

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Three Freaking Miles

This beauty was my cheerleader last night while I ran THREE freaking miles! She and her daddy dropped Braxton and I off at our starting point. She yelled over and over from the car window that she loved me and that I could do it. :) Then, they met us at two spots along the way just so she could cheer for me and give me a thumbs up. Before I fell into a deep sleep last night, she brought me a yummy snack.

Monday, June 22, 2015

Father's Day Weekend 2015

Our weekend was wonderful - spent with family - celebrating fatherhood. Saturday, my parents, brother and sister, and Josh's mom and brother came over for a BBQ. It was really, really nice! Sunday after church, we went to Papa Bruce's. He fixed a delicious grilled dinner while the kids swam and played. Josh got a big snooze in the hammock and I got to sit in the sun. How grateful we are for the dads in our lives!

Friday, June 19, 2015

Nobility

This Sunday, we will celebrate Father's Day. Actually, we will be celebrating tonight, tomorrow night AND on Sunday. I have a few men that I am eternally grateful for:

1. My own daddy. My dad and I have always had a bond that is extra special. He was always my hero. He and I went on daddy-daughter dates, went for long walks to talk, and hung out at the ball field. I love him to the moon and am so grateful for a dad who has never given up on me.

2. My grandfathers. I have two - Grandpa Robb and Grandpa Nef. Grandpa Robb keeps an eye on me from the other side. I always feel him near me. I miss his hugs, his Diet Pepsi addiction, and his "Hi Honey" comments. My Grandpa Nef is still on Earth with us. He is such a sweet, gentle man. He loves, loves, loves his family - especially the grand babies and great-grand babies.

3. My brothers. I have pretty stalwart brothers who are good, good men. They do good everyday. They are good husbands and good uncles.

4. My husband. Words cannot describe the gratitude I have for the father he is to our five children. He loves them. He protects them. He teaches, trains, and directs them. He supports them. He picks them up when they fall. He is a wonderful example of hard work, tenacity, and love. He is the protector and patriarch of our little family. He takes such good care of me and of our kiddos.

Happy Father's Day to you, Joshua. We love you.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Strength

My co-workers gave me some cash for my birthday. What did I do?!?! I bought new running pants! One of the pairs has the word "strength" down the side. I think about that word while I run. Colton told me last night that I am "strong." That's right, buddy! Your mama IS strong! We are ALL strong! We all do things that are hard. One of my favorite running quotes is, "It doesn't get easier, but you get stronger!"

I really am loving running. I think about it all day and then I go and do it and I wonder why I wanted to do it! But, when I'm done with my run, I feel STRONG. That is what it is all about. It's about accomplishing things that are good, that make us feel good, that make us stronger.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Daddy Time

These boys of mine love their dad, and they love time with their dad. Braxton loves to create and build and rebuild with him. He prefers doing that over everything! He loves to work on the yard, work on projects, and even learn how to do things. Kaydon also loves to spend time with him, but he prefers wrestling to working! I am so thankful for the time that they spend with him! They deserve it!!!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

All Aboard!

I put Jackson on Frontrunner this morning - headed to Sandy. Then, I went into my car and cried. Before he got on, I told him about stranger danger and to remember the ninja moves I have taught him over the years. I reminded him over and over that I love him and that it was going to be okay. The entire time, he was actually telling me that it was going to be okay! He is headed to Sandy to spend a week with friends. He is growing up and he is such a great kid. I'm so proud of him and the choices he is making. It's just crazy to think that he will be 16 in two months!

Thursday, June 11, 2015

S'mores

The kids have been asking when we could make s'mores again. We have the dang fire pit. All I have to do is buy the ingredients and it's easily an hour of happiness for the children. I finally remembered to buy the stuff when I went shopping on Saturday. The kids were so happy to eat as many s'mores as they could fit into their little tummies. Have I mentioned that I love living in West Point? I do.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Scout Camp 2015

Jackson and Braxton left for scout camp this morning. I am not a big fan of scout camp. You see, things happen at these events that would NEVER happen at girls camp!!!! I normally don't want to hear any of the stories from scout camp!! They are not good stories for moms to listen to. I will miss them terribly. My hope and prayer is that they come back, having grown closer to one another and Heavenly Father.
In other news, is there anything hotter than a husband getting his son ready for church?! NOPE!!! Colton left his tie on for one hour and then took it off. We were pretty impressed that he left it on that long! As we get closer to his twelfth birthday, Josh will talk to the Bishop about having Colton do a special Sacrament route so that he can participate. Hopefully he'll even wear a tie!
Speaking of church, look what Brooklyn drew during Sacrament Meeting on Sunday! I love it!! Love, love, love it!!!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Swimming

On Saturday, Josh was at the U all day for football and the two older boys were with friends. I knew I needed to get the three younger ones out of the house so I took them swimming. It was a win for everyone! They swam their hearts out while I sat in the sun. Perfection!

Monday, June 8, 2015

I Run With New Shoes!

My brothers, Logan and Skip, sent me a gift card. What did I do with it? I got running shoes - real running shoes. They are my first pair of running shoes. I literally tried on every single pair that they had at the store. Josh was so patient with me. He just kept opening boxes and helping me try them on. These are SO good. They have the memory foam in the bottom, which really helps my back. And, they are so cute which is a bonus! I had my first run with them Saturday night and I think we are going to be friends for lots of miles to come!

Birthday Pedicures

Welcome to my birthday week! It's my favorite! Nana took me to get a birthday pedicure on Saturday. Brooklyn had to come, of course. She is just pure joy! She was so ticklish and she just giggled the whole time. She got the prettiest flowers painted on her toes and she had the best time. It was such a fun girls outing! Thanks, Nana, for our cute feet!!!