Martha recently told me that when it rains, it pours, and we are in a hail storm. I try SO hard to be strong and to "fake it til I make it." I finally broke. I have been really sick since Friday, or so. I worked through the weekend, feeling worse and worse. Then, Saturday night I did something to this frail back of mine. I could barely walk on Monday as we walked through the hospital for Josh's surgery. After receiving some less than optimal news about Josh's knee, coming home and feeling like a wreck, I broke. And, I mean b.r.o.k.e.
Yesterday, I tried to go to work but I was so sick and barely able to walk. I left and went to Brandon's office. After he worked on me, I asked him for a blessing. It brought me comfort. I was able to go home and rest. Martha brought dinner last night. The Bishop called and we talked for a bit. I slept well last night. And I'm at work today.
This is what I know: Life is not easy, nor is it supposed to be. There are times when we feel like we are scraping the concrete with our faces and the skin is peeling off little by little. The feelings of being overwhelmed cannot even be described adequately. Physical pain, exhaustion and stress can take over. Our ability to see the big picture becomes clouded. But we just have to keep going. We have to push ourselves back to our feet and keep walking.
I am so grateful that Josh is healing. I am thankful that he is strong, physically and mentally. I am so thankful that our kids are doing their best everyday. I am thankful for their help and their constant, "What do you need me to do, Mom?" I am beyond grateful for Martha. I am thankful for the meals that have been brought in!!!!! The blessings that come from other people are comforting in a way that shows me on a regular basis that Heavenly Father's hand is in all good things. I am thankful for my co-workers who lift me up. I am thankful for the Priesthood in my life. I am thankful that I know that I am a daughter of God.