"You have to process your emotions and you have to feel them if you ever truly want to let them go," Holly Bowerman.
So often we try to make our feelings go away. It sucks to hurt. It sucks to be angry. It sucks to be embarrassed. Why would any of us want to feel those emotions for any longer than absolutely necessary, like 5.3 seconds?!?!I don't have a great answer for you, other than to say that it is important to feel them. It's important to honor those feelings. If you are angry, be angry. Then let it go. If you are scared, be scared. Then let it go. My mom used to tell us that if we needed to go in the backyard and break old dishes so that we could get our anger out - to do it. I was never too good at this. In my very recent past, if I had emotions that were hard to deal with, I would stop eating. Like, completely stop eating. It was something I had control over. When I was admitted to the hospital six years ago, I weighed 103 pounds. THAT is not okay.
Now, when I am sad I cry my eyes out. I cry and cry. Then, I might text Miss Birdie and tell her that I need a reminder. That is a "life vest" that I was told I had when I was inpatient. If I can't quite pull it together after I have felt then I throw out up my white flag and ask for a life vest. If I am angry, I let myself be angry. I write a letter to whomever or whatever I am angry at or with. I usually DON'T send that letter because it's NOT nice. But I write it down. I write it all down. I sign it, then I either put it away or I throw it away. That is how I deal with my anger. Usually if I'm embarrassed, I laugh about it. Because someday it WILL be funny even if it's not today.
It's so important to understand our emotions, to figure out where they are coming from and to honor them. Then, it's important to move forward. If we don't honor our emotions, then they will come back in a very ugly manner. Let yourself feel them, then say goodbye to them and move on.