I have been avoiding this post because I feel like I am still trying to process it all in my own head. With everything else going on in our lives, this has hurt. This has stung. It's so weird how our emotions work. Things go on the back-burner when we are overwhelmed already. I can't push this back because I know it will come back and haunt me soon if I do.
About two weeks ago, I took Colton for his all-day neuropsych evaluation. Last Friday, I went and met with the doctor for the results. To say it was overwhelming is an understatement. It was heart wrenching. Sweet Colton's world is so hard to navigate. I can't imagine what his every single day must be like. We are able to do what we need to do to handle situations that come up every day - loud noises, taking notes, hygiene, self-control, understanding the conversations that take place around us, etc. He just isn't.
Colton has Autism, ADHD, Anxiety, and numerous learning disabilities. His issues are cognitive, not behavioral, which is a blessing in many ways. Colton does not do things to be oppositional or mean or cruel or intentional. His brain does not recognize cause and effect. He operates at a much younger age. He is very, very, very vulnerable. He requires Special Education, but has never been afforded that because the School District is so against his diagnosis. He needs someone to walk him through his day, every day.
Today, I will begin the process of applying for Medicare, then Disability, and Social Security. My Colton might never be self-sufficient, but he will always be mine. He will always love his mama. He will always love everyone. He will always try his hardest. He will always been loved in our home. He is a special boy, who was absolutely meant to be mine. I will do my best everyday to make his life what it is supposed to be.