Yesterday as I was reading my scriptures and scrolling through positive quotes, I came upon a quote that stopped me in my tracks.
"In the end, only three things will matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you." Buddha
Oh, Friends, how I have failed at this of late. I have not been gracefully letting go. I have been unkind and angry. I have sent several text messages to J that have expressed my feelings and emotions in a most unkind manner. I immediately asked Heavenly Father for forgiveness. I realized right away that being unkind and ungraceful is not me. It's not helping me. It's not allowing me to go on with my life in the way I need to either.
As I really force myself to go through the entire grieving process, I realize that I am feeling so many emotions that perhaps I haven't allowed myself to feel in the past. I am learning that it is a process. Sometimes, we get to what we think is another aspect of the grieving process, only to find that we have slipped back to one that we thought we were done with. It's very exhausting, but necessary.
I am ready to be more graceful in my attempt to get through this as a whole, better, more complete person. I am determined to do so.
And, thank you all for your patience with me as I work through this.