Colton and I went to his Autism check-up this morning with the irreplaceable Sherlene. Gosh, I don't know what we would do without her. We would be a shit show if it weren't for her! Well, we are now but a lot less than we would be without her!
We started genetic testing today. Colton was stuck on the fact that the dinosaurs in her office come to life and walk around during the night. He has continued to gain weight and his blood pressure was high. She should have checked mine!!! Yikes.
Last night, Jackson went to check something on Colton's phone. He found that Colton has followed 300 porn stars on Instagram. Oh! Told you it's a shit show! Colton does not connect the fact that this is NOT okay. To him, they are just friends. So, this is where this mama goes a bit crazy. People who develop, create, distribute porn - you are garbage. Just saying. There are people out there who have the easiest route to porn, who do not understand what is happening. For crying out loud, take your filth and shove it up your ass.
Anywho, Jackson wiped Colton's phone clean. Colton will be giving Brother his phone everyday after school now. But, back to our amazing Sherlene. She has starfish on her walls and throughout the clinic. It's what she believes to her core - we serve the one. We make a difference for the one. And, she does. She makes a difference for my one. My Colton is functioning because of her and her belief in him... and her belief in this single mama who sometimes wants to hide in a cave and not come out for a few days...
“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.
One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.
As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.
He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”
The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.”
“I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.
To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”
Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”
At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said,
“It made a difference for that one.”
― The Star Thrower (1978), by Loren Eiseley