My Family

"Life will knock you down. You can choose to stand up again."




Thursday, August 3, 2017

You Wear Your Best Boys, I'll Wear My Pearls

P,

Today is our last prom date. So, you wear your best boys and I'll wear my pearls. My biggest pearl earrings are in! I'm wearing pink, mostly because you hated pink. So, there. It's pretty much the only way I can get back at you for all of this. But, really...


Jason will be taking the boys and I in one of the new tweeners. Can you believe that it took you getting your angel wings to get those suckers? Ken just came in to tell me that it's all shiny and clean for me and there is a new, fresh box of tissues in it. I don't know why they think I'll need those!

Colton asks me every morning, "When will Perry not be dead anymore?" I try to explain to him that only your body is dead, and that your Spirit is alive and with Heavenly Father. He doesn't really think that's good enough. I love that he can articulate what all of us think!

Your viewing was beautiful. Your four babies were composed, articulate, and full of the Spirit. They are strong, just like their mommy and daddy. Caden told me he is going back out to Florida next week. I said, "Oh, thank goodness. Your dad would be furious if you didn't!" He said, "They both would and I don't need that right now." We both laughed. That Kenzie Lou is beautiful. She is such a lady. She has grown up so much. Gosh, you did good. Jaxon is tall, strong, funny, and very protective of Aubs. Miss Aubree is struggling. But, she is surrounded by brothers and a sister who will carry her. The pictures of you and Miss Red were outstanding. Oh, how I wish I had the pictures of your mullett a LONG time ago! What I could have held over your head with those!!! That thing was fabulous! You rarely took a serious picture. Such a dork!

I wrote a letter to the kiddos yesterday. It has memories of you in it. It also has the words you spoke of them and your bride most recently. It tells them how immensely proud you are of them and how you would tell me that you were "in love" with your kids. I want them to never forget that their daddy was proud of them and that he loved them more than I've ever witnessed a daddy love his children.

This will most likely be my last letter to you. Last night, I put my hand on your casket and said my goodbyes to the body inside. I am so grateful that I know that your Spirit is alive and well and busy - you hated to not be busy.

One last time, P: thank you for believing in this broken girl. Thank you for the Diet Cokes in my inbox. Thank you for the ice cream runs. Thank you for the long drives, listening to Elder Maxwell speak and talking about testimonies. Thank you for the Priesthood blessings. Thank you for the stupid songs you sang. Thank you for the love you had for my boys. They knew it and they felt it. Thank you for the example of what a worthy, noble, honorable husband and father looks like. Thank you for always protecting me. Always. Thank you for letting me cry and making me laugh. Thank you for your dumb jokes. They were so dumb! Thank you for my decorated office. None of these decorations will EVER come down. They are my bit of P everyday. Thank you for those moments when I feel you close to me, when I feel you telling me to calm down, when I feel you telling me to be strong, when I feel you telling me to laugh.

Gosh, I miss you. More every day. I miss you.

Until we meet again, P...

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