FUN... from a couple of weeks ago

These are pictures from our weekend a couple of weeks ago. It was a fun weekend, indeed. I would like to point out a couple of things:
1. Who dips their peanut butter and jelly sandwich in catsup? Brooklyn does!!!
2. The make-shift sledding hill! I was inside fixing lasagna and I looked outside to see Josh building the kids a make-shift sledding hill in the backyard... using the picnic table! The kids LOVED it!!
3. I am blessed.

Little Things

This is Jenny.

Jenny works at the Polynesian Cultural Center. She is from Hong Kong. She helps people make bracelets. She speaks very good english. She told me that I was the prettiest girl from Utah she had ever seen :) Then she told me that I was her best friend. Cute Jenny!

I have been struggling. Really struggling. I feel like I'm in mourning over the removal of "what makes me a girl." I know that sounds ridiculous and I feel terrible for even writing this and having these feelings because I know that there are so many people who are going through enormous trials right now. But, nonetheless, I am struggling.

Last night, I was reminded by my mom to bring it down a notch. I failed miserably on making a dessert... the family ate it anyways. Josh reminded me that this is fine and that he's not going any where. My boys still wanted me to tuck them in and give them kisses. Brooklyn still called and told me she loves me. I am so blessed.

Surgery

So, I have pictures on my camera to post about last weekend, but I left the camera at Josh's house on Sunday, so I just haven't blogged.

However, yesterday, I had a doctor's appointment and I have an update. Two days before I went to Hawaii, I had an ablation done. It was supposed to stop all of my bleeding (I've been having three full periods a month). I have had three full periods since the ablation, after which I bled for two weeks. Good times! I went back to my doctor yesterday and he said that it's time to have a hysterectomy.

I knew that was what he was going to say. I have known for over a year that I needed to have a hysterectomy. I have known for a few months that there is a growth on my right ovary. I have known that the bleeding has to get under control. I know that I have four healthy children and that I don't need anymore. But, something about having a hysterectomy makes me so emotional. I have cried myself to sleep the last two nights. I am so aware that people around me have MUCH bigger trials than I do. I know that I am probably not sounding rational right now, but knowing that the very things that allowed me to have children are being taken away from me-somehow breaks my heart.

Surgery is February 9 at Jordan Valley Hospital. My mom will be with me. I'll stay in the hospital for a couple of days. The doctor said 4 -6 weeks off work. I about crapped my pants!!! I told him I couldn't be off more than 2 weeks. He just laughed at me. I repeated that I would be back to work in 2 weeks. He might be concerned about my mental health...

He's not the only one!

I love to look for rainbows, when ever there is rain

I have had the kid's primary songs for 2012 cd in my purse since the first of this month. I haven't done anything with it. It has just sat in my purse. I decided this morning to listen to it on my way to work. Track 5 came on and I put it on repeat the rest of the way to work. It touched my heart!!!!



It's called, When I am Baptized. These are the lyrics:
I like to look for rainbows, when ever there is rain;
And ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again.

I want to my life to be as clean as earth right after rain;
I want to be the best I can;
And live with God again.

I know when I am baptized my WOUNDS are washed away;
And I can be forgiven and improve myself each day.


*The word "wounds" is not the actual word in the song, but every time I listened to it, I swore that's what the child was saying. The word is actually "wrongs," but I am going to stick with wounds! We all have wounds, and don't we pray for rainbows after the storms in our lives? Don't we all hope for peace and comfort and the ability to put one foot in front of the other??? When we were in Hawaii, we saw several double rainbows. It was like the island had been cleansed, and we were all free to walk around again, you know? I love the thought of LOOKING for rainbows after the rain in my life. Love this song!!!!

Super Kid

Colton is the "Super Kid" in his second grade class this week. This is the poster I made for him to display in his classroom. It's always fun to make these posters for the kids. It forces me to dig up pictures from the past year and display them. It brings back good memories!

Colton is a tough kiddo! He knows how to push my buttons, but I can't imagine my life without him. He loves his mommy. He loves horses, swimming, riding his bike, jumping on the trampoline, dancing, singing, and taking hot baths. He takes at least one hot bath a day. He is super social and loves his friends. Lately, he has taken to his sweat pants, rather than jeans. Most of his sweat pants are too short for him, but I don't think he notices... or cares.

I'm so glad he gets to be super kid this week! I love you Boogie!