Public Letter to the Creators of the Pinewood Derby

Dearest Creators of the Pinewood Derby- What on earth were you thinking??? Maybe you had good experiences with building/sanding/painting/sticker sticking. Maybe your male parent/male grandparent/male extended family member put this idea in your head. That idea/thought should have been ignored. Just saying. I have four boys. I have been to my fair share of Pinewood Derbys. Car derby/rocket derby/boat derby. You name it, we have raced it. I have been to these events where there was security on location. Seriously. Not because the boys, themselves, get a little out of hand, but because the adults get out of hand. Awesome. I have seen creations come to these derbys that are CLEARLY not the work of 8 year old boys. In fact, it's clear that they had NO part in the building of these derby-worthy automobiles. Okay, let's now move on from the creation of these things. Now, let's talk about the race itself. Usually between three or four boys race "their" creations at a time. Guaranteed someone is going to lose that race every time. Now there's tears. There's bad-talking. There's fist pumping. Well, let me just tell you that I'd like to do a little fist pumping myself, and I'm not talking about the cheerleader form of fist pumping. It is seriously one of the most stressful months of the year for me every year. Is this automobile going to be derby worthy? Is this thing going to even have a chance to win? Or, at the very least to finish? Which one of my children is going to cry first? Which one of my children is going to deck another kid first (usually their own sibling)? Are they going to have Xanax-laced cookies for snack? Because if not, I'm going to bring some of my own!! In conclusion, I would like to withhold ALL thanks to you, the creator of the Pinewood Derby. This was not one of your better ideas!

Save the Date

This heart of mine is going to get a make-over! May 23rd is the big day!! I'd say I'm excited, but that would only be half true. I'm nervous, of course. This isn't like a stitch on my big toe. I'm not saying that wouldn't be painful, but you know, this is my heart. I only have one! I met with the cardiology specialist (Electrophysiologist) today. He was very nice. His Physician's Assistant spent quite a bit of time with me explaining that this little defect is something that I was born with. I have one, or possibly two, extra connections in my heart. They are going to go in and ablate those so that my heart will work the way it's supposed to. The amazing news is that I will have the procedure done on Thursday and I will be back to work on Tuesday AND they expect me to be back to full activity within three to four weeks! I cannot wait to be walking and biking with my boys again!! Now, I did have a VERY descriptive conversation with them about what the consequences will be if the anesthesia doesn't work to it's fullest capabilities. Don't worry... I have this exact same conversation with ALL of my doctors! I think that my wishes are crystal clear! :)

Sweet Colton, in Two Minutes Flat

Last week some time, close to bed time, Colton came into the kitchen. Mind you, the meds he is on are completely worn off no later than 3:30 p.m. He had on his shin guards from last year's soccer season. "I'm off to play soccer Mama." Not 30 seconds later, "Mama, can you make cookies with me?" I began getting the ingredients out. He still has his soccer shin guards on. No 30 seconds later, I am making the cookies alone and he is playing on my phone with his shin guards on. After the mixing had been done and the oven preheat timer dinged loudly and the first two batches of cookies that I made alone were out of the oven, he looked at me and said, "Mama, can we still make cookies?" And, that my friends is ADHD. That is the sometimes very confusing world that my son lives in. That is a tired brain ready for bed so that it can rest for the next day's craziness. My sweet Colton.

April Service Project

I am a firm believer that the most important service we do is done within our own families. My family has always been by the side of me and my boys. I could not have, and would not have wanted to, go through all of these trials without my family. So, for April I decided that my boys needed to write letters to one another. I started the chain of love by writing a letter to Jackson. Jackson wrote a letter to Braxton. Braxton to Kaydon. And Kaydon will write one to Colton. My hope is that my children save these letters and re-read them during hard times. My hope is that my boys know that their brothers and their Mama love them more than anything.

This Heart of Mine

I had an appointment with my darling Cardiologist yesterday. He is a nice man. He clearly has daughters. He reviewed my heart monitor results. Thankfully, that obnoxious heart monitor did it's job! It was able to detect several episodes, and episodes they were! This heart of mine was showing off for sure! The diagnosis is SVT, AR and SR. I don't have any idea what the AR and SR stand for, although I believe they have to do with location. It is the exact same diagnosis as my dad. Thanks Pops! We are beyond the point of medication. The Cardiologist recommended an ablation on this heart of mine. I meet with another Cardiology specialist next Wednesday. I suppose we will then determine what we do and when we do it. I only cried for about 10.7 minutes. I am growing!

My Sweet Colt

My son has ADHD and Pediatric Anxiety. The diagnosis came almost one year ago, although it was clear that there was an issue before that. I told myself that I must be doing something wrong as a mother and that I would fix everything at home without doctors and therapists intervening. I was wrong. It was clear before this school year that I needed some help. The diagnosis was not surprising. In fact, it was exactly what I thought it was. Yet, it was still very hard to hear. I felt like, once again, I had failed. I had clearly done something wrong to cause my son to have these issues. His amazing pediatrician explained to me that there were several missing connections in his brain and that his behavior wasn't chosen, but that we could re-train his brain to do better with the connections. She did and has continued to give me hope. My son is sweet, sensitive, loving, affectionate, active, cuddly, and yet within two seconds he can be angry, scared, hysterically crying, loud, and unable to calm. It is heart breaking. His brothers have struggled with him often and consistently. They know of his diagnosis and they understand what that means, but they struggle to be patient and calming. They don't include him in things as often as they could and as often as he would like. It makes me so sad. But this weekend, the three older boys were outside. I heard them come in and repeatedly invite Colton to join them. I started to cry out loud. I was so thankful that they thought of him and made the effort to include him. He was in heaven! I have listened to them this week encourage him. This morning, Colton started choir with the school. He had to be there early and Braxton offered to walk him there and stay with him. It's these small things that mean so much to me! My son is not like other kids. He struggles with basic emotions. He struggles with switching from emotion to a different emotion. He struggles to calm himself when his emotions become too much. He struggles with basic feelings. But, if he knows that he is loved by his mama and his nana and his brothers, if he knows that we will always be his safe place, if he knows that he can come to us when he is in a whirl wind that won't stop, if he knows that he is perfect just the way he is, than he will be just fine.

My Scavengers

My children are scavengers. FYI. Twice a year when the neighbors put their GARBAGE out on the curb, my children go pick it up, put it in the wagon and bring it home. Usually Nana and I just laugh. It is actually hysterical!

Sundays

We have 11:00 church. Thank goodness. After church, Josh usually makes a yummy dinner. Oh, he is such a good cook! The rest of us change into jammies and chill. We play games or watch movies or eat candy. We cuddle and snuggle. We just hang out. Usually Sundays are just perfect!