Oooooooooooo!

Hudson was so busy yesterday!

I took him outside with me to throw some trash away.

He was wearing the cutest little monster slippers.

He (we) then spent the next 45 minutes walking up and down our street.

Bottle in hand.

Living his best life!

He LOVES when uncles get home.

He makes sure they know he's there!

He continues to be obsessed with the TheraGun.

That red mark on this face is from him laying his face directly on the TheraGun and humming, "Ooooooooooooooooo!"

Love this Squish!

 

Aria's School Program

Papa went to Aria's school Christmas program this morning.

Gigi had to work.

Papa joined Aria's mommy, daddy, and Hendrix.

Then he sent all the pictures to Gigi!!!

She is our spunky, sassy, all-girl Aria Girl!

 

GIGIIIIIIII!

I was at work, in a meeting, when my phone started buzzing.

It was a FaceTime call from Mia.

I shut off my phone.

When I turned it back on, she had sent me these two screenshots.

Hudson REALLY needed to talk to Gigi!!!!

By the time I was able to call him back, he was napping. 

Those cheeks, though!!!

 

What Have You Done?

Burke was going through sports pictures of Cooper and Ryker from this year.

He likes to get poster-sized pictures to hang on their bedroom walls.

Burke and I are constantly talking about how to help the kids reach their goals.

Sometimes I feel like our goals for them should be their goals.

Obviously, that's not the way it goes.

Burke is daily sending me TikToks with protein-rich recipes, different exercises the boys should be doing, etc.

I feel like it turns into us trying to talk to the boys about what they should be doing to accomplish their goals, followed by them rolling their eyes at us.

It's a cycle that I'd really like to get off of.

So, I changed my approach.

Now I ask the kids, "What have you done today to work towards your goals?"

I'm hoping it helps!

I also ask Burke and then I just announce mine!

 

Purpose

I played one of those social media games on Friday.

It was an image of a bunch of words in on box.

It says, "The first four words you see are your 2025 roadmap." 

I totally played along!

The first four words I saw were:

PURPOSE

CREATION

LOVE
SELF-CARE

And what did I do?

I decided I was ALL-IN on these four words!!!

I even made a little image.

I have decided to really go with this.

As I pray each morning and night, I do so with these four words in mind.

I kind of love it.

In other news, Ryker's last basketball game for the year was Saturday.

This mama was too tired to go.

So, Burke sent pictures and updates while I laid in bed.

I am obsessed with getting pictures and videos of the grandbabies.

Delilah is SO sassy and naughty and I could not love her more!

I got to hang out with this Squish Saturday.

He's so funny.

"GIGIIIIIIIIIII!" is what he yelled from the porta crib in my room when he woke up from his nap!

 

The First Real Snow Storm

I love the pictures of the girlies that Isis posts and sends to us!

These girls are LIFE.

They are just the most beautiful!

Sweetest.

Our first actual snow storm arrived this morning.

It took Braxton a bit longer to get Hudson to us this morning.

Hudson thought it was very fun to walk through it to the front door.

The dogs, who got groomed yesterday, had a blast trying to chase Ryker to school.

They smelled good for about 12 hours.

I'll take it!

 

Feeling It

I have been allowing, even forcing, myself to go THROUGH the feelings of losing my grandpa.

Tuesday, I felt completely broken.

Sad.

Hurt.

Lost.

Broken apart.

Yesterday, I was raging mad.

SO angry.

That is such an uncomfortable emotion for me.

It's the scariest emotion for me of all the emotions.

I'm forcing myself to go through it... not try to run from it.

Just be royally pissed off.

At everything.

Today, I'm exhausted.

Physically, emotionally, mentally... in all the ways!!!

SO tired.

Drained.

This note, though.

Kehlani to her daddy.

He's the best girl daddy there is!

 

Grandpa Nef

Sweet Grandpa Nef made Heaven SO MUCH BETTER on the morning of Monday, December 9th.

Peacefully.

Quietly.

Brilliantly.

Grandpa never met a stranger. 

Anywhere.

At any time.

He pulled everyone in.

EVERYone.

He would put his hands on your cheeks and kiss you.

EVERYone.

He was kind and tolerant and aware of my boys' father.

He always hugged and kissed my stepmom.

Always.

Grandpa saw me.

He heard me.

He loved me.

Unconditionally.

He told me that.

He showed me that.

More than anything... above everything else...

He LOVED my boys.

My gosh, he loved my boys.

I mean, endlessly LOVED my boys.

He recognized all the things about my boys.

He spent TIME with my boys, even though he lived 12 hours away.

He loved them.

So much.

My Sweetest Colton posted this message.

I love their love.

Grandpa,

Thank you.

I feel like a part of me is broken.

The link that held me to the Nef family is now gone.

I love you more than you know.

XOXOXO

 

San Francisco 49ers VS Chicago Bears

 What a whirlwind!

We flew out to Oakland at 11 PM.

We got to Oakland at like 1 AM their time. Is that even right?

I don't know. Maybe it wasn't that late.

If you know me, that is SOOOOO late.

I called it an all-nighter.

The kids laughed.

Our Uber driver was great.

We got to our hotel in Newark and I was SO tired.

Immediately, everyone climbed into bed with me.

Just like home!!

It was so late and I was so tired.

Burke told the kids to go downstairs to the lobby with him to grab snacks (so Mom could go to sleep).

He's brilliant.

So at 3 AM, they were all having snacks in the kitchen.

The next morning, we went to the Stadium.

We went to the gift shop and walked around the stadium.

It's beautiful.

EVERYone we ran into was kind and fun and funny and so welcoming!

Four of us in 49ers gear & three of us in Bears gear.

We walked a few miles to a darling restaurant.

Ate.

Laughed.

Then Uber'd back to the hotel.

Everyone went into the kids' room.

Bubba & Suzanne brought games and they spent hours playing with Porter, Cooper, and Ryker.

I have no doubt that will be a core memory for the boys and I am SO grateful!

Sunday, we headed to the stadium early.

I am all about getting to stadiums as early as possible so that I can experience ALL of it!

It was a beautiful day!

Warm and sunny and perfect!

I love these humans endlessly!

We had such a fun time.

SUCH a blast!

So many memories were made!

Kyler Gordon's father and sister sat right behind us.

He could tell that our Ryker was bummed by how the game was going.

He got up, went and bought Ryker an ice cream and brought it back.

It was so thoughtful!

Memories.

We flew home at 4 AM on Monday morning.

When we arrived, I found out that my sweet grandpa passed away.

My heart is broken.

But so grateful and full.