Safety First!

For about five years, now, I have been BEGGING for a taser! Begging. Like, begging random people for tasers! So what?! Safety first! Well, I have an uncle. He is my favorite uncle. He is also my kids' favorite uncle. He is Uncle Victor. He is pretty much perfect! He is a prison guard head honcho in California. He is all about Safety First! He got me a birthday gift!!! (Picture me singing in my best soprano voice) He got me PEPPER SPRAY! AND it's PINK!!!! (Picture me doing the hokey pokey all by myself in my office right now) I put it on my key chain and I am ready to conquer the world! I dare someone to come up on me! Oh! They are going DOWN!!! (I think Josh might be a little bit worried ;))