My Heart

If you'd like to see a rad picture, go to my Facebook profile picture. Joshua took that while I was unaware... and waiting for my EKG and IV. Joshua!!! Thursday was eventful, although I remember so little of it. I remember Joshua drinking a Pepsi on the way to the hospital. I felt like I hadn't had a drink for days and days. I wanted to drink his Pepsi SO bad! I remember the clerk flirting with Joshua. I thought it was hilarious. And that is about as far as my memory takes me. Joshua tells me that I LOVED my Zophran pill that I was able to let dissolve under my tongue. Apparently I thought it was the best tasting thing EVER. I heard that a flash light was used to get my IV in. Normal. I try to tell them! I heard that I LOVED my doctor. I heard that I was so brave. How could I not be? J was there. I heard that I tried to take my oxygen out of my nose a few times and tried to take off bandages much to early. I heard that I had a breakdown and sobbed loudly OUT LOUD when I couldn't see Joshua. It scared my children. :( I heard that I thought grapes were the best thing ever invented. I heard that I was wishing people Happy Birthday. So what?! The doctors told Josh that everything went really, really well. Besides a lot of soreness in my groin and my neck, physically I feel okay. My heart races now and then and sometimes feels like it's being shocked, but I have had ZERO nausea. I showered today and got more of the surgical tape off of me. I feel exhausted, even more than before surgery, but it's a good exhaustion...an exhaustion that I feel can be treated with rest, not an exhaustion that feels like I might not live another day. It's a much better feeling. I so look forward to being able to go for a walk. I can't wait! For now though, I am immensely grateful. My kids are well. I had health insurance through this ordeal. My mom is amazing. Our ward has brought meals and treats. Flowers are covering our kitchen table and they are stunning. And J. J has been amazing as usual. He is so kind and so gentle and so helpful. For now, I am immensely grateful.