Thoughts to Begin the Year

Let's have a year of positive vibes. Let's have a year where our personalities are just fine the way they are... even if we are super sassy (like this girl). Let's have a year where we are a little kinder and more aware of the people in our world.

Here are a couple of thoughts that have been swirling around the head of mine:

1. Let's be a bit more aware of what we are saying and to whom we are saying it. I grew up hearing that I was overweight, that I should lose some weight so that I would fit in to cuter clothes. I was told to watch what I eat, to be more active. Now, the person who made most of these comments had no intention of hurting me. This, I do not doubt. However, they did! In fact, they just about killed me! I went through a stage where an eating disorder just about took me. After an in-patient stay in the hospital, I was all but cured of that disorder. Seriously, People, you should see me eat! I work out four days a week - not to lose weight, but to be strong and to not harm my children! I have been struggling, however, with maintaining my weight. I have been losing weight, which is not what I want. Well, yesterday morning a nice lady came to the counter. I was eating my oatmeal, talking to one of my assistants. The lady promptly said, "Well, it looks like you need to do more eating than that." Here's the thing - that didn't need to be said. Some might take that as a compliment, but not this girl. Why can't we just tell everyone who crosses our path something amazing about them. Find something: I love your hair, I love your eyes, your skin is amazing, that color looks fantastic on you, your smile just made my day... Let's not focus on anything else. Please.

2. As I begin to navigate the strangest world of dating, it is indeed STRANGE. When I go on dates at night, which is rare, I do tell Jackson what I am doing, the name of the person I'm going with and where we are going. Then, I proceed to lie to my other three boys. I tell them I'm going to run errands, or going for a girls' night. They would not be able to emotionally handle mom going on dates. So, I lie. Is that the right thing to do? I don't know, Folks. But, it is what feels right to me right now.

Rock told me this: first, I have to text him every time I get home to tell him I am safe. Second, it's my time. It's my time to be spoiled, to be pursued, to be impressed, to be taken care of. He told me that settling for anything different is unacceptable. I remember that everyday and it's such a relief, and such a good way to measure people, too.

3. This is going to be a great year of new opportunities and new challenges!