Dear Grandpa,

My brother texted me yesterday morning, asked if my mother had told me about my grandpa.

No.

My brother called me.

My grandpa was in the hospital. 

He's been going downhill for a long time; as has my grandma.

Falling

Not eating

Not showering

Now, in the hospital

I was told.

Later in the day, he told me that my grandpa would be dying.

He was being put on hospice.

He has heart issues that will kill him.

He's 94.

Burke asked me if I wanted him to get me on a plane.

No.

Especially not by myself.

We'd go to the funeral, I told him.

I wanted to talk to my grandpa while I still could.

I desperately tried texting and messaging family members who were there, asking anyone ANYONE to put a phone up to him so I could talk to him.

No response.

Radio silence.

I am not going to get into details in this post, other than to say this:

Dear Grandpa,

Thank you for seeing me.

Thank you for hearing me.

Thank you for trying to protect me.

Thank you for loving me, even with the narrative given to you.

Thank you for loving my boys.

They LOVE YOU.

Thank you for your hugs and kisses on the lips that you give EVERYone.

Thank you for your stories.

Thank you for loving people.

Thank you for loving everyone.

Thank you for your hard work.

Thank you for your peanut butter balls.

Thank you for your example of a husband and father and grandfather.

Thank you for teaching me to ride horses.

Thank you for listening to me. 
Always.

Thank you for being my grandpa.

Last night, I heard from a cousin who contacted another cousin who called me on speaker so I could tell him I am so thankful for him and I love him so much.

He didn't know who I was, I'm sure.

He spoke of things I didn't understand.

It didn't matter.

I was able to tell him what I wanted to say.

She sent these pictures, too.

I am grateful to both of my cousins for making this happen for me.

I love you, Grandpa.