Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Squat Like You Mean It

My sweet friend and co-worker started this squat challenge group on Facebook. Being the nimrod I am, I joined up with it! Why not?! Why not experience such pain in my legs that I can't lift my right leg up onto the step, so I just faceplant into it instead!! It's awesome. But seriously, today is a rest day. Yesterday, I did 140 squats. REAL squats, like REAL squats People! We are half way there and every single day I feel stronger and stronger. I haven't missed a day. It is the best feeling! As someone who struggled mightily with an eating disorder for years, I could not be more proud of myself. First, I have maintained my 120 pounds for four years! When I entered the hospital four years ago, I was 103. 120 is awesome! And, I love that I can say that it is awesome! I am so proud of myself! I am also so excited that I can say (and really mean) that strong is so much better than skinny! I love that my body can do these things, that it can squat, lift light weights, walk fast and strong, and EAT. I have found so much joy in eating. Don't get me wrong, the little voice in the back of my head will always be there... the one that says, "You are fat and ugly and worthless and disgusting and gross and unworthy of food." But now I am able to tell it to SHUT UP. Every time I tell that voice that I am strong and strong is way cooler than skinny and that I am worthy of every single piece of food I put in my mouth AND leave in my stomach... I win. Squat like you mean it!!

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