Monday, February 1, 2016

The Book

So, you know that whole "book" idea I had? Yeah, maybe not! Miss Birdie sent me a little book a couple of months ago. It is a book, quoting text messages between she and I back in August of 2010. You might remember that August of 2010 is when I got sent to rest for eight days, pretty much against my will. I ended up there because I sent Miss Birdie a text, to which she responded, and then it went on and on until she threatened to call her friends at the Sandy PD. When I received the book from her a couple of months ago, I glanced through it, then closed it.

Well, in order to begin writing the book I had to type out every word in that notebook. So, I opened it and began typing. It was an intense time for me - remembering just how sick I was and just how blessed I am to still be here with my babies. I cried at some points and laughed at others. Miss Birdie wasn't having any crap that day!! (and thank goodness for that) As I typed the last of it, I tore out the pages of the notebook that contained those text messages and threw them away. I don't need them anymore. That was the past and an important part of my past. But it isn't my current and it isn't my future. I don't need them anymore.

So, maybe just maybe that book I thought I needed to write was simply my reading, understanding, and then letting go of that day and that pain and that angst and that fatigue and that sadness and that frustration and that hopelessness. Because today is a new day. And, today I am well enough to know that I wear an invisible crown. So, I'll straighten it and hold my head high because I am here!

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