Impossible to Doubt

Wednesdays, at my full-time job, are supervisor staff meeting day. I usually fill myself up with Diet Coke before I head in there because I am constantly scolding my guys to speak my language and to stay on task. It never fails that there are lots of laughs, and usually lots of serious discussions. Sometimes the meetings can be awkward if there is an issue that needs to be addressed. Those are the moments when I put my head down and focus on writing minutes. If something is brought up that sounds like a fun thing for me to do (driving the bush master), then I pop in and say, "I can do that!" It never fails to draw shakes from the heads of every single one of the guys in the direction of, "NO you can't, Heidi!" Then I get discouraged and put my head down and continue writing minutes.

I almost always know about any surprises that P has for these meetings. So, at the end of the meeting when everyone is done and it's time to end and he looks right at me and says, "Heidi Ray, we love you," and hands me an envelope:

and continues on by saying, "We are so proud of you. School will be starting in a few weeks and the boys are going to need some supplies so here you go...," I can't quite catch my breath. I covered my face and he said, "Now, don't get mad and start yelling like you do... we want you to know that we are your family. We are here for you and we love you and those boys..." And then I start crying, which I do just about all the time... and I manage to get the words out, "Ernie has told me a few times, 'We will carry you until you can walk again on your own.' I could not do this without you guys. Thank you."

I sent my boys a text once I stopped crying and got back to my office. It said, "P and the guys just handed me an envelope. It has Subway gift cards for date night and cash for school supplies. Boys, don't ever doubt that Heavenly Father knows us, hears us, loves us, and takes care of us. He has always put people in our path who He knows we need. Mama loves you boys."

Friends, I am telling you that it is impossible to doubt that there is a loving Heavenly Father, Heavenly Mother, and elder Brother. They know who we are. They see us. They hear us. They love us. They answer our prayers, and the prayers of others who are talking to Him on our behalf.

I cannot even begin to tell you what it has meant to us when people have given us food (Mommy M, Bishop K, Papa & Grandma, Nana & Pops, Uncle Brandon and Aunt Carrie, some that we don't even know!!), clothing (B Beck, Sheffields, Laws, Uncle Logan and Uncle Skipper, Grandma N, and so many that we don't even know!!), makeup, coloring books, markers, fun posters, cards, and knick knacks (Miss Birdie, Miss T (Younique!!), B Beck, LeAnne, Auntie, Paula, so many others we don't even know), and money/gift cards (Uncle Logan and Uncle Skipper, B Beck, Nana & Pops, Papa & Grandma, Grandma and Grandpa N, my guys, and others we don't know). These things don't just happen. It's isn't just "lucky." It is people in our lives who are in-tune with our Heavenly Father, who bless us when we don't even know we need them right then.

I was told in a blessing about twelve years ago, given to me by B Beck's sweet dad, that Heavenly Father would make up the difference. I was told that He would bless us with Priesthood holders and people who would help us. Those same words have been repeated in several blessings since then. It is impossible to doubt that He is real and that He knows every single one of us SO much more than we can comprehend.

***On another note, it's always so touching to see my big guys get emotional. I think I've seen every one of them cry now.***