Learning

My room at IMC was very peaceful. It was decorated with cards and flowers from loved ones. There was a glass board on the wall that could be seen when walking in the door to the room. On that board, Randy and I wrote words and phrases that came to our minds while reading, praying, journaling and learning. This board was always noticed by people walking by or coming in to visit. It was read and re-read by me throughout every single day.

While at the University, one of my aides told me of a stroke that she had one year ago. She would look at me throughout her shifts, wipe the tears running down my cheeks, and say to me in her Hawaiian accent, "Darling. Fight! You fight, fight, fight!" That is where the word "fight" came from. As we read from the scriptures, Tao, and other books each day, I would ask Randy to add a word.

One morning, I was alone in my room. The room's window faced west. Because we were on the 12th floor, the view was amazing when the air was clear. One morning, I wheeled myself to the window and looked out. I realized I could see clear to the mountains. I could see people coming and going, attending to their duties and responsibilities for the day. I could see transit working smoothly. I could see Christmas shoppers out and about. I could see birds, light snow flakes, the sunrise and sunset. I realized in that moment that I had vision... not just physically, but spiritually. That is where "vision" came from.

The doctors told me daily that this would be a slow process, one that would require patience (that is something I've never had much of!). Because I was all-in, I chose patience every minute of every day.

Each morning, I was determined to arise. I was determined to arise and to work hard towards my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual healing.

Other words and phrases came. I felt such peace and such love as I learned more and more about the Atonement of our Savior. Throughout my life, I always thought that the Atonement was simply for repentance. Boy, was I wrong! Our Savior was the only one who understood exactly what I was experiencing. He was the only one who could comfort me and raise me up in the ways I longed for. Because of Him, my body and my mind are being made whole. I have never felt the kind of peace that I felt in very tender moments at the hospitals. The Spirit was tangible. Oh, how blessed we were.