This is Jackson's second Trek. He went on his first when he was 14 and we were living in Sandy. He had the flu when he left, but battled through and came home with an extended and inspired testimony. He put off submitting his mission papers so that he could go again. He is on the Youth Council in our Stake, and has been influential in planning Trek. He was responsible for giving the devotional prior to leaving yesterday morning. As always, he was prepared and prayerful.
He took Kaydon and Colton shopping at the DI Tuesday so that they would have what they needed. He was able to get Colton to wear a button-down shirt (he never wears them due to sensory issues). Colton is sticking with this joggers, which is completely fine. He's there! He is with Jackson in a family in which Jackson is a "big brother." If he hadn't been in Jackson's family, he would not have been able to go. I am so grateful for a Bishop who is ever mindful of my boys and does everything in his power to see to it that they participate in all activities.
Braxton chose not to go. He is working six days a week. Do I wish he had chosen otherwise? Certainly. Do I wish he could have this experience with his brothers? Absolutely. Did I pray and ask my family to pray that his heart would be softened? Of course. Do I love him any less? Umm, no. Agency is a powerful thing. I remind myself often that I cannot pray away my childrens' agency. Nor would I want to. I make very large mistakes daily. Like, every single day. I learn from them. They are mostly beautiful, if I indeed learn from them. It's the same for my boys.
I am so thankful for opportunities that we all have each day. I pray that my three boys are learning and growing and stretching and developing in ways that only experiences like this could provide for us. I pray that Braxton and I will continue to learn and grow in our own ways with our own experiences here at home. I always long to have all of my boys home again... all of us together on Friday.
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