Ummmm... Why Are You Feeding Me THAT?

I LOVE when Carrie send me texts.

She always writes them as if they are from the babes.

"Hi Auntie! Do you think you can come watch us on Saturday so Mom and Dad can go on a date?"

My response: "Ash! Why aren't you eating your cookie?"

Carrie: "I really like stuff I can eat off the floor and the ground, but when my mom gives me something on my tray I'm not so sure!"

This picture kills me!

He's like, "Yeah... you try that first Anson! I'll see what happens to you first!"

Can't wait to play with these babes on Saturday!

Back to School 2018-19

We made it.

The kids are back to school.

They were up and out on time.

They've always been good at that.

Jackson was the carpool driver for the junior high kids and me!

Braxton is my junior. He is at Layton High again. I had to force him to smile here so it's a cheeseball smile. But, it's a smile!

Kaydon is my sophomore. He is at Layton High. This kid is my rock. Nothing seems to get to him. He and Braxton will be driving together.

Colton is my freshman. He is at Fairfield Junior. He is still in the special education program. He is just happy to be alive!

Jackson is my missionary, working. It's weird!!!

People, weird!

This beauty is my freshman. She is the mama hen of the junior high kids. She is a smarty pants. Like, brilliant. 

This boy is my seventh grader. When we dropped him off, Jackson told them that it was going to be a good day. Mari said, "It's going to be evil." He was really, really nervous. But I know he'll do great!

This is my fourth grader. This little sassy pants beauty is my heart! She loves her mama Heidi. She had to get hugs from me this morning before we took the big kids to school. Don't mess with this girl! She is going to take over the world!

Let's do this! 

With courage!

Park with the Babes

We spent Saturday night at the park with the babes.

Oh, these babes.

Asher explores his world and learns about everything around him by putting his mouth on EVERYTHING. And, I mean everything. He is never without a stick in his hand/mouth. He LOVES the world around him and is slightly obsessed with water.

Anson explores his world and finds his smile by swinging. If the park has a baby swing, it's the ONE! I will stand and mean-mug parents with big kids in the baby swing for as long as I need to in order to get Little Man in there. Once he starts screaming, it usually does the trick! :/

Anson struggles so much with separation anxiety. Poor little squirt. Poor Carrie!

She and Brandon do everything right by having him around people! As long as he was in the swing, he was completely content with Auntie!

Back to School Feast 2018-19

We had our Back to School Feast last night. 

This year, Braxton was in charge of the theme for our school year.

After Jackson ordained Kaydon to the office of Priest, we hurried home and Randy and I began cooking.

It turned out so yummy!

Next time, we will actually put the spices in it. 

I purposely left them out because I was sure I would hate the spice.

It would have been good to include it.

Spicy Corn Carbanara for the win! Garlic bread, Ceaser salad, and ice cream cake.

The theme for this year is "courage."

Braxton recited a scripture from the Old Testament about courage.

He then handed out necklaces that he made each of us. They are personal reminders for each of us to have courage to do the right thing. The small handouts that he made have the picture of a lion, the word "courage" and P's name in morse code.

The boys put these cards in their lockers or their notebooks.

I read a scripture on courage and explained to them what I expect out of them this school year, and really always.

Randy then concluded the dinner with his thoughts for them.

Here's to another school year!

They start Wednesday!!

When I woke up this morning, there was a gift sitting on my chair.

What to my wondering eyes did appear...

Sunglasses!

From my Jackson!!

They are so fancy!

And in this fancy clutch-type thing.

Is that what you call this?

I could use this thing as a purse!

AND, it also came with a bag!

You know, to keep them safe or whatever.

I'm kind of new at this fancy stuff.

I've never had sunglasses from any place other than the Dollar Store.

Aren't they SO amazing?!

Isn't my Jackson SO amazing?!

Our Family

Last night, I left work early and went straight home.

Jackson went to the store to get me some medicine for my overly bloated belly.

I laid in bed at 5:15 and stayed there for the next 12 hours.

I ordered pizza for the children.

I was in my room when I heard a knock at the door.

Then I heard Je'Mari:

"Oh, hi. My brother will sign that for you."

The pizza guy said, "Your brother??"

Je'Mari and Colton said in unison, "YUP!"

Like, duh!!

Mari said, "My mom and other brother are upstairs, but my mom is sick so my brother will sign it."

The guy said, "Huh. Well, ok."

My heart about burst. 

These seven kiddos see no differences.

None.

Zero.

Zip.

I mean, they know Amia and Sassy are girls and the five are boys.

They know that Jackson works a lot and Braxton is the "helpful one." 

They know Kaydon can be grumpy pants and Colton is extra special.

But, that's it. 

We are family.

I woke up to this picture from Braxton.

He took Mari to get church clothes. With his (Braxton's) own money. 

Mari told Braxton that he wants to be a deacon.

Braxton talked to Dalila and asked her for permission to teach him.

She agreed.

The missionaries called this week and they are setting up times to teach him... and the girls if they want.

Mari comes to church with us almost every single week. 

He comes in his track pants and whatever t-shirt he is wearing.

Now, he looks all kinds of dapper.

Again, heart burst moment.

Yellowstone

Last week, the boys went to Yellowstone.

And Jackson Hole.

They got to see Old Faithful.

They got to sleep on the ground in Bear Country.

I'm fully aware of how unsafe that is.

They are boys.

They got to pee in nature and not get yelled at by their Mama.

They got to eat food that may or may not have been good for them.

They got to spend time together before life changes for all of us.

I'm so grateful they got to have some serious brother time!

I was even more grateful when they arrived home.

Just keepin' it real!

Kaydon is 16!

My Kaydon Trask is 16 today.

Kaydon wasn't expected to make it to 16 months old, let alone 16 years old. This boy is thriving.

He is my very serious, very dedicated, very hard-working, very service-oriented child. 

He isn't so people-loving. Unless your name is Bert... who is still his bestest buddy!

Kaydon will be a sophomore this year. 

He has Drivers Ed first semester. 

Heaven help me!

He is spending the week with Pops and Nana. 

That's what he wanted.

I love this boy so big. I am beyond grateful for the fight in him. 

So many cards were stacked against him and he re-stacked the stack!

He is a warrior and I am so honored to be his mama!

Trip to My Temple

Yesterday, after work I went to the Temple. The Ogden Temple is MY Temple. 

I seriously thought about just going home and starting my laundry and cleaning my kitchen and cutting up bananas. Then I remembered stories told in Sunday School about a Cambodian family who saved every cent. Every single cent they had. They sold their home and their only cattle. They did all of this so that they could travel to the Temple.

Yikes. 

I literally drove a mile and a half and walked into the temple. 

I literally walked out 45 minutes later after doing initiatories and drove 15 minutes to go home. 

I could have walked if I needed to.

And I thought about going home instead.

I have not been to the Temple since my stroke.

The last time I went, I did initiatories because P had been the day before and reminded me how amazing it was. He told me that I NEEDED to go do them.

So I did.

As I thought about going yesterday, I thought it best that I do them again.

As I listened to the promises given to us by our Heavenly Father, I wept. 

I wept because my body is working.

My Spirit is hearing.
My Heavenly Father loves me. And you.

These Babies!

These babies.

Asher will be 18 months at the end of August.

Anson will be 15 months at the end of August.

They are both walking.

They are both VERY vocal.

They are both so DANG cute!

 Asher is ALL boy! He LOVES everything sticks, branches, grass, tree bark... you name it... he's all about it! He is so curious about his surroundings. He puts everything in his mouth or puts his mouth on everything. He takes your hand and pulls you to wherever it is that he wants to go next. He is in a front-facing car seat which is so dang big! 

 Anson is taking lots of steps now! Anson likes to do things on Anson time! Anson is still a binkie baby, which I happen to love. Sometimes he just puts it in the side of his mouth and chew on it. He LOVES to swing on the playground swings. He is a mama's boy. Like, big time. He gets anxiety when he is not able to see his mama. It kind of breaks my heart. He loves to watch his big brother and I know he can't wait to run around and keep up with him! He is the sweetest.

I am so grateful that we live so close and that Auntie can be with them and spend time with them often. They are the greatest blessings! 

Some Goals, Though!

My August Vision Board is a bit different than my July one was! It is more basic, with suggestions and reminders for me to "Rise Daily," and to "Breathe." I am in a state of trying to find myself, my true self, right now in my life. I want high visibility with my business and strive to find that each and every single day.

I have my daily check-list off to the side. Some of the things that are not on there are, "Pray everyday all day," "Read your scriptures." I am so grateful that these things need not be on my vision board because they are automatic in my life. I already have ideas of what I will be adding for September, but for now I am focused on August!

What are your goals?

Hello August!!

Hello, August! I am really, quite eager to see what you have in store for us. July was quite exciting... full of emotion and adventure, trials and tribulations, joy and happiness, anxiety and strength! It was my first full month back at the gym. It was scout camp for Kaydon. It was more working 60 hour weeks for Jackson and Braxton. It was Jackson receiving the Melchezidek Priesthood. It was a month of being strong and voicing my convictions like the strong, courageous woman I have grown to be. It was changing my eating so that I FEEL better. It was lots of coloring and reading and sitting under shade trees. It was loving on my boys as much as I possibly can.

This picture is hitting crazy-close to home for me right now. I feel like my whole existence has been about trying my best to raise these boys of mine. To do everything needed for their existence. To love them and teach them and train them and direct them. Oh, the number of times I have failed is infinite. But, right now... in this moment... as we await Jackson's mission call... I feel like anything but a failure. I feel love. I feel gratitude. I feel strength. I feel a remembrance that this really has nothing to do with me, but everything to do with my Heavenly Father and my Savior and their grace and their love for my family. We have never walked alone. Ever. I have never doubted that there is a meeting of angels held every morning on our behalf. Everything is fine! Right now, I want to hold on to my babies just a little longer, but I've done my best to teach them to go out in the world and be their best selves. Jackson is about to embark on just that and he's ready. Of that, I am sure.