Tender Mercies

Yesterday, I had a work meeting in a co-worker's office.

I don't know her well.

But, I remembered that she had a missionary in the field a couple of years ago.

When we were done with the meeting, I asked her about her missionary.

She said that her missionary has been home for a few months.

I told her that my missionary has been gone since December 11th.

The next 30 minutes were full of a tangible Spirit, one that I could not have felt any other way. One that could have only come from meeting with, talking with, and listening to her.

She told me some very personal things that I won't share publicly.

But, she reiterated what so many former missionary moms have said and that is that they miss, so much, the blessings they received while their missionaries were out.

I told her that my bishop's wife had told me to really look for the blessings while Jackson is gone because they are there, constantly.

I have done that, but after talking to my co-worker yesterday I realized that I should perhaps stop "looking" and start "feeling" for the blessings.

She told me that she began keeping notes every night of these types of blessings.

Her favorite treat would be on sale at the store. Her favorite hymn would play, by accident, during Sacrament Meeting. A certain message would be given at a certain time. A rainstorm hit during a loved ones funeral (she is Indian and has always been told that when it rains during a funeral, it is the angels crying). She said that these tender mercies happened constantly, and although she now feels much closer to God, she desperately misses those moments of constantly feeling His love for her and her missionary.

She said that she was so touched by meeting her daughter's mission president.

She said that he was not good at communicating with parents. 

But, when she met him in person he KNEW her daughter, he LOVED her daughter, he KNEW all about their family and their struggles. She realized in that moment that his priority was not to communicate with the families, but rather to love the missionaries.

She told me that she asked her missionary every week to answer three questions. They were always different, but meaningful to them. I loved that!

She told me that her daughter and her daughter's companions really struggled with family lessons when children were involved. She could not figure out how to appropriately involve the children. Then, her mom sent her some coloring pages from lds.org. It changed the entire lesson for her daughter.

As I drove away from this meeting, I wept.

I got to my office and I prayed with gratitude for this moment.

This tender mercy.

I needed, so badly, to hear every single word she said.

I needed, so badly, to feel the Spirit as she talked.

My boy, and so many others, have literally given two years of their lives to God.

Like, just given it to Him.

And, in turn - God is with me all of the time.

So, rather than looking for the blessings, I am going to begin to FEEL for the blessings.