Worth

Worth.

SUCH a difficult word for we mere mortals to comprehend, to live with and to live up to.

We, especially as women, have zero issue with telling each other our worth.

I LOVE to preach worth.

But in our own head space, we often knock down our worth.

As if.

As if it's up to us.

Because it's not.

I had a conversation with one of my kitchen cabinet people last weekend.

During it, she mentioned that due to certain "facts" or "items of proof," someone in her life was clearly more worthy than her... AND that these facts always reminded her of that.

I listened as she told me all of the ways in which that is true.

I listened as she talked about promises given to her that have not come to pass as of yet.

I listened as she told me how she feels like she's always lived in the shadows.

I listened as I wanted to stop her and scream that she is worthy.

But, I listened.

Until it was my turn.

Oh, HELL NO. 

You ARE worthy.

Perhaps we need to pivot our thoughts or our perception of promises given to us.

Perhaps you're not in the shadows; perhaps you are the sunlight creating shadows.

I see you.

 I hear you.

Your feelings are ALL valid.

But YOU ARE WORTHY.

Not more worthy.

Never less worthy.

WORTHY.

A sweet friend of mine called last night.

Heidi, you don't this but when I read your blog, I am literally reading my own life.

Your blog is helping me so much.

Without trials.

Without THIS trial, I would not be on this particular path.

I would not be praying about what I need to blog about.

I would not be having morning and nighttime personal devotionals.

AND, without the series of events over the past three years of my life...

During THIS trial...

I'd be running.

Hunting for a man to validate me.

Hunting for a way to run from the feelings and emotions.

I might drink alcohol.

I might be on three different dating websites.

I would be unable to put my phone down, not to run my business with a crazy amount of passion, but to answer every ding from lame dating websites.

I HAD to run and run and run so that I didn't have to feel.

Now.

Now I purposely create stillness.

I seek answers.

I listen carefully.

And, I feel.

I feel all of it.

We are ALL worthy.