Moving On

Colton decided a couple of weeks ago that he was no longer wanting to work at McDonalds.

I was worried because he was making GOOD money for a first job.

He has loved having his own money and being more independent like Brothers.

Jackson also had a little chat with him about it.

But Colton told all of us and he prayed about it and knew it was right so to leave him alone!

That self-advocacy I have taught him his whole life can be a bit difficult to deal with at times! :)

Boogie applied for Hungry Howie's last week and got the job.

He's worked every night since.

This morning, he told me the people are really nice and he likes them.

That's everything for my boy!

 

With Christ

If I already posted this picture in this blog, my apologies.

It's my blog, so I'll basically do what I want.

I created this image and I can't love it any more than I do.

Plus, we match...

I had a very good conversation with Father in Heaven this morning.

One of the things that seems to come up in every therapy session with Katryna or Erica is that I continue to seek validation from people who have proven to me that they can't give it to me;

Or who aren't the judges of my worth;

Or who simply don't carry that responsibility.

Heavenly Father often is very direct in the way He communicates with me.

Example:

"Heidi, you are wanting validation from this person whose job it isn't to validate you."

"Heidi, you're waiting for validation from them and you already know your worth. Why would their validation change that for you?"
"Heidi. Stop it."

Life, and active recovery, are so much more simple, so much more clear, so much more doable WITH Christ.

I love Him so much.

 

Ride Along

Braxton's best friend is Cole (Colester).

They've been best friends for 10 years.

Cole's dad is Baby Daddy.

I am Baby Mama.

Baby Daddy and I are less than mature.

Example:

Baby Daddy is a big deal in Braxton's life.

He takes the Brax and Colester hunting an fishing.

He teaches them all things about being good men.

He's a great friend to me, always supportive and compassionate.

He's also an officer.

A couple of weeks ago he mentioned that I should go on a ride along with him.

STAND DOWN!

People, I have been preparing for this my entire life.

Examples:

I have watched ALL episodes of First 48.

I have watched ALL episodes of Forensic Files.

I have watched ALL episodes of Rescue 911 back in the day.

I was ready for this day!

It did not disappoint.

 

Boy Momming

First.

I stopped by the shop on Saturday to grab an order.

The door was locked.

This is the text message thread sent between my Big Mike and I after that.

My village is legit.

Saturday, Colton needed Mommy time.

We went to the gym and grabbed some breakfast.

Then, we drove down to Sandy to give Elder Jorgensen his State Department Birth Certificate.

I got to hug my boys!

And Colton stayed the night with his brothers.

It did his heart so much good!

 

What Time Is It?!

AUNTIE TIME!

Oh, I have missed some one-on-one time with my babes.

We were in California, then they were sick.

Yesterday was the day and Colton and I loved it!

Anson is SO smart and is such a good listener.

We had a birthday party celebration when he went poop in the potty.

Asher was SO busy and SO happy. 

He wanted Auntie to be a climbing wall, jungle jim, and personal trainer.

I just love them SO much!

 

Marathon

I have been in a very large, false self funk since being in Fresno.

I have armored myself up and the walls have been, at least temporarily, put back up.

I'm aware of it.

I recognize it.

At times, I feel like I'm spiraling.

But awareness is so powerful. 

It allows me to do what I've been taught to do.

So last night, I watched baseball remotely with my Daddy.

This morning, I began with meditation.

I did my devotional.

I listened to music I love.

I came into work, telling everyone I was doing breathing techniques and working on my darn attitude problem.

And, God painted the sky for us this morning.

 

Farewelling

Kaydon was with his mama for the weekend.

Friday night, he took Colton and I to Cheesecake Factory.

It was all fancy and stuff!

I love those two so much.

Of course, I got my ice cream sundae!!!

Saturday, Kaydon and I went to breakfast at Cracker Barrel.

He has a huge goal of opening a bed and breakfast and restaurant.

I love talking to him about it.

He has big dreams and I know he can do it!

Sunday was his farewell.

He did amazing.

I love having all of my boys together.

That is where Heaven is for me.

It will always be with them!

I made chicken enchilladas.

They played games and enjoyed each other!

I am so honored to be their mama.

They have raised me a lot more than I have raised them.

They are amazing.

All four of them.