Mommy

Last night, my big boy needed his mommy. He didn't say that he needed his mommy. He showed me that he needed his mommy. It was one of the greatest moments in recent memory. Jackson had a rough day/night. I can't be sure if it was just yesterday, or if emotions have been building in his mind and heart. He is a pretty quiet dude. He talks to us, but it's never too detailed. He broke last night when we got home from his orthodontist appointment. He hunched over the kitchen counter and sobbed. I rubbed his back and told him how much I loved him. Josh kept asking him what was wrong. He just cried, unable to speak through the sobs. Finally, he stood up and told us a few things that he is struggling with right now. We told him how proud we are of him and how much we love him. Josh got him a plate of food and I went into the Living Room with the other kiddos. It's so rare for Jackson to show emotions that his younger siblings were swarming him, asking him what was wrong. Colton and Brooklyn did not like seeing him so emotional. When he was done eating, he came in and sat on the couch right next to me and laid his head on my shoulder. His 6'1" frame had to slide way down on the couch so that he could cuddle with his mama. I didn't ever want that moment to end. My big boy needed his mommy and he was letting me be his mommy. He was silent, with muffled sobs now and then. But, he was with his mommy. I just held him for a good hour while the family played and talked all around us. I thanked my Heavenly Father over and over again for this moment. These moments are so very, very rare now. These kids of mine grow more and more independent every single day. But, we all need our mommy. I thought about my Heavenly Father, too. How many times do we just break and want our Father? For me, it's just about daily. And when this happens, He comes and holds us every.single.time. I never want my kids to stop needing me, and I never want to not be there for them when they do. I'll love you forever, I'll love you for always.