My Boys

I LOVE being a mama and auntie of boys.

Yesterday, Braxton hung out with Mama at work.

This kid is a hoot!

He got us Cafe Rio for lunch and cut his finger nails with the sharpest knife I've ever seen.

I'm not sure why these things surprise me anymore!

I will miss my kiddos coming and hanging out with me.

I will miss their boy-stuff that they do, i.e. cutting finger nails with a super sharp knife.

Asher is 23 months old! 

He turns TWO this month.

That actually makes my heart break a little.

I LOVE his auntie kisses and his naughtiness!

Anson is 20 months old.

I LOVE his snuggles and cuddles and giggles.

I love when I get to the house and he grins SO big to see Auntie!

Colton is like a dang star shining brightly.

This kiddo is so happy.

He loves to take selfies with Mama.

He also loves getting his Starbucks coffee once a week!

Last Saturday morning, he and Kaydon got up at 5 am and went to the Bountiful Temple to do some baptisms.

These are MY kids.

How did I get so blessed?!

Kaydon was able to do quite a few of the baptisms.

This boy right here is LOVING Chile.

He is happy, healthy, safe and full of love and joy.

He is missing peanut butter and American food.

But, he is SO good.

I am just the luckiest!

Soaking It In

Jacks spent the weekend in Sandy with Nana and Pops. He and Pops went for a long walk in the way too cold weather. 

He loves his time with them. 

Doesn't he look so handsome?!

Yesterday, he took me to lunch. 

We got his second pair of glasses for him to take with him.

We just need a shoulder bag and this guy is ready to go.

He is anxious, nervous, excited...

I am sad and worried and anxious and nervous.

I'm sure that's normal.

Please tell me that it IS normal.

This Young Man of Mine

Jackson sent me this picture yesterday.

If you click on it, he's sobbing.

He told me that he was watching his training videos and crying. A lot.

People!

I cannot explain to you in words adequately how many mixed emotions I have.

I am beyond proud of him for the choice he has made in his life.

I am beyond honored to be his mama.

I am beyond honored to be the mama of his brothers as well.

I am beyond sad to be "losing" him for two years.

That word is not being used with any disrespect toward parents who have lost their children on this Earth. 

It is simply the only word that comes to mind.

This is where our jobs as parents changes so much.

These are the days that I sort of watch him go and be a man and be a good, no great, human being on the planet.

I am going to miss him more than my words can express.

But, I know. I KNOW that he is going where he is supposed to be.

Jacks and Pops

Jackson spent some time with Pops yesterday.

They were going to work on a mask.

But they went on a seven mile hike instead.

My kids are so blessed to have a papa and a pops.

They love them both.

My boys always request to spend one-on-one time with their pops.

He usually has Mondays off, which makes it a little easier for them to have that one-on-one time with him.

When Pops married Mom, he didn't have any kids... or grandkids (obviously).

Suddenly, he had a daughter, two sons, a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law.

He also now has six grandkids.

All boys.

Of course!

He is the greatest pops!

He has gotten to know the kids individually and makes sure to spend time with them talking and laughing and just engaging with them.

Jackson will be leaving in just a few weeks.

I think everyone is trying to squeeze in time with him before he's gone.

Mama included.

My Weekend

Friday was a rough day for this mama.

Bad headache.

Not much movement.

Tired.

Slept until afternoon.

Fever.

Some days I am reminded of my new normal. Of my mortal state. Of my weak body, but strong spirit. Some days I am reminded that I no longer have much choice when it comes to pressing on through fatigue of my sort. I have to stop and rest. And so I do.

I did go pick Jackson up from work that night.

I am going to miss this boy.

He is one of my favorite people on the Planet Earth.

He is so good in every way.

Gosh, I love him.

I also snapped this sunset.

We live in the most beautiful place.

From Highway 89 or from Fort Lane or Fairfield, near Highway 193, the views are surreal.

Lovely.

This guy was sick all last week.

I cooked and cleaned and cared for him as I could.

The tables turned on the weekend.

He cooked while I slept.

Apparently, I slept a lot.

He watched football and baseball and would gently wake me to tell me scores that he knew I would want to hear.

Then I would wake up for a while to watch them with him.

We did go on a real date.

To a fancy restaurant.

After an hour of being there, it was back home we went to watch baseball.

T says we are like two old people!

And what?!?!

Lunch Dates

These two handsome boys came and had lunch with me yesterday.

Colton was sick when I left yesterday morning.

He stayed home and rested.

Jackson drove them to get me, then to have lunch at Warren's. 

Less than two months and this boy is off to Chile.

Jackson's Temple Trip

Friday, Jackson went through the Bountiful Temple.

Rest assured, I have zero pictures of him.

When we got there (while the sun was in the middle of the sky and lighting was perfect for pictures), he exclaimed that he didn't want pictures until after.

I should have fought that!

When we left the Temple, it was dark.

Very, very dark.

The only pictures taken: T and I. 

Seems fitting!

The Temple was beautiful.

It was my first time doing a session there.

But, fun fact: this is the Temple where Jackson was sealed to his father and I.

Papa, Pops, Nana, Uncle Brandon, Aunt Carrie, Randy, T, Bishop Krum, Sister Krum and BJ Redford were all in attendance.

It was more beautiful than I could have imagined.

My boy is a stud.

Afterwards - Randy, Jackson and I went to R&R for dinner.

I didn't get any pictures there either.

I was too busy eating!!

He's Going There Today

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has a Primary song that I LOVE.

I often sing it to myself when I'm struggling emotionally.

"I love to see the Temple. I'm going there someday. To feel the Holy Spirit, to listen and obey. For the Temple is a House of God, a place of love and beauty. I'll prepare myself while I am young. This is my sacred duty."

Well today, Jackson is going there.

He is going there to make promises with God. And himself.

He is going there to clothe himself in the holy garments.

I have been taught that the garments protect us.

I testify that they do.

Physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Our dearest friends, Kelly and Corissa, took Jackson to get his garments and Temple clothing on Tuesday night.

Last night, he and I packed his Temple bag.

Today, he and I will drive to the Temple.

We will meet loved ones there:

Papa, Nana, Pops, Uncle Brandon, Aunt Carrie, T, Randy, and other loved ones who choose to come.

I will be wearing extra setting powder to keep the makeup on my face as I will surely be crying.

These will be tears of joy and peace and pride.

A good kind of pride.

I look forward to being in the sacred halls of the Temple with my oldest boy, who I love so much.

Babies, 10 Days & Rockers

These boys' mama sent me a text this morning:
"Auntie, can you babysit us tomorrow evening after work?"

Ummm... YESSSSS!

Look at them.

Just look at them.

Auntie can't wait for snuggles and giggles tomorrow!

Today is the last day of my social media fast!

It's been such a great experience.

It's been so wonderful to take more time to listen and to ponder, rather than to scroll and sort of lose myself in other people's lives. 

I'll be back doing my Lives tomorrow morning & I'm excited and ready!

This morning on the way to work, Jackson and I were listening to the radio.

We like to listen to Frankie and Jess.

They were reading a text from a guy that said something to the effect of:

I woke up to my girlfriend screaming. She said she saw a three year old boy rocking in the rocking chair in the corner of the room...

Jackson immediately was like, "NOPE! Divorce. I am taking the dog and leaving. Good luck with life. I'm out. You can keep the kids. I'm not coming back here. Get counseling for your trauma. I'm out."

That's so my Jackson!

He does not do ghosts, nuns or ghost children rocking in rocking chairs in the corner of the room.

He is literally hilarious about it.

I was like, "Jackson, slow your flow. It's just a ghost."

He was not having any of it!

I could not stop laughing.

Word to the wise:

Don't bring up dead people, nuns, or children rocking in full-size rocking chairs whilst around my son.

He will not stick around.

Laundry & One Week Down

What a boring, lazy, perfect weekend I had!

All but Jackson went to the Layton game on Friday night.

Jackson took me to get an ice cream.

All of the boys were gone on Saturday.

I literally watched a Lock Up marathon on Netflix, colored and made cookies.

I didn't even shower!

All day long!

Sunday was the Primary Program.

I kind of REALLY miss having my little ones up there, waving at me and blowing me kisses.

Those dang kiddos are so stinking cute.

And there are so many new Primary songs. They are beautiful.

The boys' dad drove up to take them to dinner.

While they were gone, I finished Jackson's laundry for him.

Once you turn 10 at my house, you do your own laundry.

Period.

It's been five years since I've done anyone's laundry by my own!

Last night, I thought I would finish his for him.

I literally wept while I folded it.

I realized that there are only two more months before he leaves.

He's ready.

He's prepared.

He's worthy.

I'm a mess.

It's been a whole week since I've been on social media.

An entire week.

I don't even feel the temptation anymore to be on there.

I don't feel tempted to even go peek.

It's been a wonderful break.

I am up-to-date on my Book of Mormon reading as well.

Reading it this quickly has actually been pretty cool.

I feel like I'm getting out of it different things than I have when I've gone much, much slower.

Wednesday, I go back to my daily Facebook Lives and posts for my business.

I feel like I'll be ready.

I pray that I will see blessing in my business for my obedience.

My Breakfast Date & One Week Down!

This was my breakfast date yesterday.

We had a lovely morning at court.

The word lovely is actually a lie.

It was terrifying and I had so much anxiety built up.

But we were blessed with mercy and all was well.

For now. 

I know that there won't be too many more of these one-on-one dates with my bubba.

I am going to miss him so much.

He is a man, now, and that is SO weird for this mama of boys.

I am a lucky, lucky mama.

It's been almost a week since I started my goals:

1. NO social media for ten days

2. Read the Book of Mormon between last Monday and December 31st.

I am having a 100% success rate so far!

I have no doubt that my boys and I are being blessed for my obedience.

I am looking forward to getting back to work on social media next Wednesday, but for now I am loving the break and the blessings from doing what we have been asked to do.

And this guy.

This is how I feel daily about working out. But when I look at him, I giggle and carry on!

He's in Dallas for several days with his college buddies to see Jacksonville play the Cowboys. They are so stinking excited. 

Wednesday night, we saw a man get hit by a truck. A big truck. 

He was 71. His name is Tony. My heart broke for him.

He refused medical care, which was a BAD idea. At one point, he told the responders that if I went with him, he would go. But by the time they finished their notes, he changed his mind again.

I haven't stopped thinking about him!

Happy weekend!

I hope it is full of joy and laughter and the ability to recharge!

Jackson is 19!!

I am seriously in awe that I have a 19 year old.

This boy.

Jackson.

Bubba.

#1.

Jacks.

Jack.

Hey You.

This boys is 19 years old.

He is SO ready to be Elder Jackson Jorgensen.

I love this kid so large.

He is a hard worker. He is a man who leads by example.

He is a loving and guiding brother.

He has his people and they are his people for forever.

Happy birthday, Bubba.

Mama and Brothers love you for forever.

Sacred Halls & Sleeping Beauty

Yesterday while T was in surgery, I took the elevator upstairs.

I got off on the 12th floor and immediately felt a rush of emotion.

I haven't been back since December.

My room is the first room you come to.

T1225.

It is a sacred room, where sacred things took place.

Last night, I texted Randy to thank him for making it so.

That is where we prayed, read scriptures, did therapy homework, laughed, learned to color again, learned to read again, spoke of spiritual things.

That is where I healed.

I walked the halls.

I went to the rehab gym.

This is the mat where I learned to roll over and sit up.

This is the mat where I cried and cried when I couldn't figure out how to roll to my right side.

This is the mat where I learned yoga.

This is the mat where miracles happened.

I was able to hug therapists, doctors and nurses.

The common comment was, "You don't even look like the same person anymore."

I had no idea how much I'd changed.

Afterall, I was walking. I was talking. I was chewing gum.

I suppose I am different.

Even the cleaner came and gave me a big squeeze.

I love those people.
They are a part of me.

Lots of tears. Lots of smiles. Lots of love.

I was even able to hug some patients and encourage them in their journey.

It will be okay in the end.

This morning as I was leaving, I peaked into Jackson and Kaydon's room.

This is what I saw.

Only a few more months and I won't be able to see this anymore.

I had to snap a picture of this sleeping beauty.

I love my boys so much.

I am so thankful that I am home and healthy with them.