Mother's Day Thoughts

I love Mother's Day.

Often times, my Grandma Robb's birthday would fall on Mother's Day. This always seemed so fitting. She was born to be a mother and grandmother on Earth. It was truly her calling and she exemplified this role.

My Grandma Nef's birthday is also in May. Grandma Nef and I have grown so close over the last few years and especially recently. I am positive that I got my organization and go-get 'em attitude and work ethic from her.

My mama and I are super close now. Growing up as mom and daughter had its ups and downs. We do not always see eye-to-eye, but the love we have for each other is fierce.

I am a mother. I always wanted to be a mother. When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always "a mother." I wanted lots of kids. Lots. I dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom and homemaker. I pictured myself taking my kids to serve at nursing homes and in the neighborhood. I wanted to teach, train and direct my kids to be the best humans possible. Life didn't turn out the way I envisioned. However, I did have four babies and they are some of the greatest humans I know. I fail each and every single day. Some days, the failures are enormous. Some days, the failures are only in my head. Most days, I feel like I have let my children down in so many ways. Everyday I get up and try again.

My children are the reason I keep going quite honestly. When I had my stroke, my children were the single most important reason I had to get up early everyday and push as hard as I possibly could. I wanted so badly to be home with them for Christmas. I wanted so badly to one day be strong and self-reliant in order to help them be the same. I wanted to make them proud. I wanted them to be confident in my ability to heal and recover and, in fact, to soar and to rise above all of it. They have walked with me, carried me, loved me and been my biggest cheerleaders throughout every ordeal over the past 18 years.

I am immensely blessed to be their mother. I love Jackson, Braxton, Kaydon and Colton with every fiber of my being.