Ten Years!

First of all, I remember thinking 44 years old was OLD... even just 10 years ago!

This side by side is SO telling.

The girl on the left.

Oh, how I wish I was better to her.

She was tired.

Single mama.

Months removed from being admitted to the psych ward for an eating disorder (weighing 103 pounds) and not wanting to live anymore.

Just weeks away from a hysterectomy.

Just months away from a cardiac ablation.

Just five years away from a stroke.

Lots more surgeries for the boys.

Willingly going into toxic relationships to get my fixes (process addiction).

This girl felt (and really believed) that I was unworthy of love, completely unlovable, not good enough for anyone or anything, exhausted, spiritually and physically and emotionally drained...

The girl on the right.

Oh, how I am so thankful that I didn't end my life back then.

She is still tired.

Still single momming it.

No longer willing to go into toxic relationships.

19 months into active recovery for my process addiction.

Aware of my infinite worth.

Aware that I am valued and lovable.

Aware that I am a daughter of Heavenly Parents who love me.

Healthy.

Aware.

Believing in my Savior and having faith in The Plan.

Aware of my past, living in the present.

Passionate about helping others.

Implementing and sticking to boundaries.

I am grateful for my present.

A mom of the most amazing men.

An auntie to the most darling of kiddos.

A gigi to the most perfect little Kehlani.

I can't wait to see my next ten years!