The Holiday Family Struggle

I know that I am not alone in these thoughts, but Heaven knows I am going to talk about them because I'm me and my filter is still being worked on... 

When I started working at Kohl's however many years ago that was, I did Thanksgiving dinner at my house with my kids and that was that.

It was so nice.

I cooked what we wanted to eat.

The kids went and played in turkey bowls, slept, played games... whatever.

It was chill.

It was relaxing.

There was NO schedule.

I do NOT like to have people schedule my time or my kids time. 

That makes me feel very out of control of my own life and my own choices and I hate it.

Like, my anxiety is high right now.

My issue is probably slightly different, in that I am not married so I don't need to trek my children and I here and there and here and there and back to here then to there.

But, my parents are divorced.

Whether they admit it or not, they'd really like to see all of their children on the holidays.

This year, I was told that we are going to Salem for Thanksgiving.

Salem.

Salem, Utah.

To my Pops' parents' house.

In Salem, Utah.

I was told Pops had a hike planned for the children.

I was told that we have to be at Mom's by a certain time in order to be in Salem by a certain time in order to eat by a certain time.

And... stroke.

Seriously.

I talked to my boys about this a couple of nights ago.

Jackson has to work at 5:30 am on Black Friday.

I asked them how they felt about just doing our own thing at home with no schedule instead of going to Salem.

They poo-pooed that idea.

So, next week we are going to Salem... meeting every deadline... I will be faking it til I make it. I will be smiling when I feel like my anxiety is going to boil over and I'm going to be sick. Then I will end up sleeping the rest of my holiday weekend because I'm so damn stressed out about the whole thing.

But, my boys will be happy.

Mom, I love you. 

Don't take this personal!

It's just me and my own feelings and thoughts.

I am beginning to prepare myself for it now because it really is a nightmare.

On a happier note,

Happy Freaking Weekend!

Halloween 2017

Monday night, the boys told me about their plans for Halloween. I was not included in those plans. I may have cried.... I totally did! I cried. They are getting older and really have no use for Mom on Halloween any longer. Jackson and Kaydon did a party. Colton went with Amia, Jamari and Sass. Braxton went to Cam's. So, I set the bowl of candy out on the porch and went to play cards with Rand and his friends.

We mostly talked about how my babies are growing up. It's so weird. It's terribly sad for this mom. The boys cleaned up good on candy and had a lot of fun together and that's what really matters! I had a great time with the guys playing cards and eating cookie dough. So, it was another successful Halloween!

Our Fourth

Braxton, Cam, Kaydon, Colton and I headed down to Nana and Pop's house for brunch. Cam is super good with Colton. She played the ABC game with him all the way to Sandy. We had a yummy brunch (none of which I could eat because of this dang challenge) and then watched a movie. Brandon and Carrie brought the boys for an hour, so they were loved on like crazy! Kaydon is a hoot with these boys!! When we got home, I worked out and the two boys chilled. Colton and I played "garbage" for a while. What a fun game! I've never played it before! That Colton is a smarty pants!

We missed Jackson. It's hard for me to have less and less of my babies around for days like this. I am feeling myself being a little sad lately. Time to cheer myself up!

PWP Can Party

Today was our Department Holiday party. Xavier, Tracey and I can party! By party, I mean we can eat A LOT of food! And, it was delicious. Then, we go back to the office. Talk about party animals!!!

Swimming at Martha's House

On the 24th of July, our sweet neighbor has a big block party - complete with food, water slides and dog poop! Only a few of us showed up to it this year. After dinner, and the dogs eating the food off of the table, we opted to go a couple of doors down to Martha's and swim for the rest of the night. Some of us planned on swimming (all of the kids and Josh). Some of us did NOT plan on swimming (me). However, my husband opted to throw me in the pool (clothed). Funny.

The kids had a blast. Joshua broke the make-shift slide to the pool. Awesome. I eventually got into the pool willingly. The kids rock-climbed and jumped into the water over and over again. Mostly, I just loved being with Martha and watching Baby Brooklyn smile.

I sure love that family!

4th of July

Our 4th of July was really fun and very relaxing. After Braxton and I ran the race, several of us took naps and it was awesome. Then we loaded up the kids and some food and headed to Papa Bruce's for a barbeque and some swimming. The kids LOVE swimming at Papa's! After that, we went to Davis High School's roof and watched the fireworks. It was beautiful and relaxing and patriotic.

When it comes to holidays, I love that we are able to spend time with family. We are blessed to live near family and to be able to make memories with them. I am grateful that my kids get that opportunity!

Autism In Our Home - Holidays

We decided to try out our little town's Easter Egg Hunt. This is no small feat, People! We knew there would be a lot of people there and so we were prepared for that. Colton was not. When we arrived at the part, there were several different areas, reserved by ages. Josh took Brooklyn to her age group. I took Kaydon and Colton to theirs. Immediately, it was clear that this was going to be rough. Colton was noticing that there were several eggs that were already cracked open. A sweet mom next to us went and closed them all so that he would calm down. She was SO non-judgemental. She was VERY sweet and patient! She then pointed out to me that there was a special needs area. BLESSING! I want to give an ENORMOUS shout-out to West Point City for having a special needs pad for those kids who want to participate and can't in a "mainstream" environment. Colton was much more calm once we got to the special needs pad. He was able to enjoy his hunt. Once he felt like he had enough eggs, he began to help all of his little friends fill their buckets. One little friend didn't want to have eggs in her bucket! She sat on the ground and kept dumping out her bucket. I loved her! Colton couldn't understand why she didn't want the eggs he was giving her. Her very patient dad explained to Colton that she was silly that way. The Easter Egg Hunt was a success! Thank you to those who were so patient and helpful for those kiddos who want so badly to enjoy their holiday!

Christensen Thanksgiving 2014

Thanksgiving was at our house this year, with our little family of seven. And, I made it all myself. This was both terrifying and exciting for me. I roasted a turkey, which I stuffed with homemade stuffing. I made a ham. I made real mashed potatoes. I made cranberries. I made homemade rolls. We also had pumpkin pie, banana cream pie, and homemade cherry cream pie. Josh added in the canned cheese and chips... whatever! And, we had some raw vegetables. I pulled it off. I was so exhausted at the end of the day after cooking, baking, cleaning, and cleaning some more. This morning, as I type this, I am so grateful that I did this. I have had many years of watching my mother, my maternal grandmother, and my paternal grandmother cook, bake, clean, and serve. I am grateful for the lessons they have passed on to me. I am so thankful for the food that I had to feed my family. I am so thankful for the appliances I had to cook with. I am most thankful for my family of seven. Gosh, I love my family. My kids are amazing. Every single day. They are amazing.