Single Mom Gig - The Things They Say

For the most part, my boys are really good at telling me everything. Tuesday night, Kaydon came back from a fireside and came in to my dark room where I was reading my scriptures on my phone. He asked if he could talk to me. I, of course, obliged. He walked in, turned on the light, closed the door, then sat on the floor. He told me that he had done something bad and that he was so sorry. I asked him what it was and he told me. Then he apologized repeatedly. I explained that he doesn't need to apologize to me, that I love him just the same and that I was so grateful that he told me. He told me that he had repented and felt like the Savior accepted that. I told him how important that was. He asked me if I felt like he should tell the Bishop. I told him that a decision like that was completely up to him. He told me how sorry he was, again, and told me that he loved me.

As he walked out, I wept. Not sad or frustrated tears. But, humble and grateful tears. I am ever thankful that these boys are mine and that they are trying so dang hard to do what is right.

Friday was a rough (like shit show mess) day. I got a call from the school at 1:30. I was told I needed to get to the school, where Colton was with the principal and a police officer. I won't get in to details about the allegations, because it's not necessary and because I believe that Colton deserves due process just like anyone else - if not more so... But, suffice it to say that a girl made an allegation and Colton was screaming and crying and yelling that he did nothing wrong. He did not understand and could not comprehend what was happening. He was scared and completely confused. I was furious (assuming that this happened), scared, and just exhausted. I went in for another meeting regarding the situation Monday morning, early. It turns out the school has not been following all of the things that we had spoke of. That will be changing. He is exhausted. So is Mama.

The older Colton gets, the harder life becomes for him. The older he gets, the larger the span between his physical age and stature and his behavioral and emotional age. His good friends are in 4th and 5th grade. He is in 8th. If Colton is told me a kid that they will be his friend if he does something or if someone dares him to do something, with the promise that they will then be his friend, he will do it in a heartbeat. He doesn't have the cause and effect that neuro-typical people do.

It's about adjusting and finding what works today because every single day is different.

But, we are doing it. We are trying so hard to do it.