I Needed It

I took Friday off. I needed it. I needed to clean my house, open the windows for fresh air, read the books my counselor recommended, and workout at my own pace. It turns out, Carrie needed some help with the babies and I needed them. I checked Kaydon and Colton out of school after lunch and we went to the babies. We loved on them. We went to Farmington Station again and watched the fountains. We walked around, got a Fiiz, and then headed back to put the babes down for naps. Their mama was home by then. I can't express in words how much I love those babies. And, those babies love their cousins so much. So much.

Saturday, I worked out and ran errands. Then, I watched as my boys left to go to the Lantern Festival. I was home. Alone. Usually, I love that. Saturday, it was tough. I cried... and let myself cry. Then, for the 20th time that day, got on my knees and pleaded for peace, comfort and contentment. I pleaded to have faith in my Heavenly Father's will for me. I watched the morning and afternoon session of conference, then made blankets for Ogden Regional's NICU. I got myself a shake and went to bed. Meanwhile, the boys sent P a message to heaven.

Sunday, we went to my mom and pop's house. The boys ate. A lot. We watched conference and just talked. I told my mom and pops about counseling. Then, Pops gave me a gift.

I love him so much. He is constantly telling me that I am enough, giving me pointers on how to stay strong emotionally and spiritually, and telling me that I'm loved. He listens so well. He has ADHD and sometimes I wonder if I am more than he can handle. But, when he is in "dad" mode or "grandpa" mode, he is completely focused on us and is able to really hear us and then listen to the Spirit and tell us just what we need to hear. And, he loves my mom more than anything in the world.

I needed that.