Pre-Recovery

Dear Ones,

I am blogging about my recover, my life, my challenges, my ups and downs (because every recovering addict will have them). I am being raw, open, honest, humble, and real.  For once. Real.

This journey may not be one you want to follow.

But, it's my journal and it's my journey.

I NEED to be 100% real and raw throughout this journey.

No more hiding behind a smile that is fake.

Me.

All me.

I am awaiting a phone call from Family Services to begin my recovery process, my treatment program.

Until then, I have started my pre-recovery.

I made a list of five categories that I will concentrate on every single day.

The next day, I "report" or journal each category. I write about what I did do, what I didn't do and what I struggled with. Honestly. Openly.

Then, I send a picture of that report to my three sponsors. 

This is me being accountable.

It also helps me because I know that as I go through my day and I am struggling, I have agreed to and promised to be accountable to me and to my sponsors honestly.

It also helps me to stay in the present.

Yesterday is gone. I don't yet have to worry about tomorrow.

I'm in today and today matters.

Last night, after meeting with my bishop, I took Colton to get a snow cone.

The boys and I used to do this constantly when they were younger.

It felt SO good to be doing it again.

Sitting outside with my youngest.

Watching him be so excited about the rainbow of colors in his snow cone.

Not checking my phone at all.

Just being in the moment.