Nauvoo & Some Nana Lovin'

Last night, we drove down to Sandy to have dinner with Pops and Nana. I tried to think of something that would boost her spirits. Who doesn't want a foot rub?! Nana got a foot massage and a fresh coat of bright pink polish. She just relaxed. It made me happy to be taking care of her for a few moments. She is doing so well! Her bone pain and neuropathy are under control with meds. She hasn't vomited yet. She still has most of her hair, although it will be coming out soon. She smiles and sleeps. That's all we expect of her!

Saturday night, the children and I went to Old Nauvoo. It was our ward Christmas party and it was done SO well! We took a couple of neighbor kids with us, because we really seem to not go any place without extra kiddos. The boys were SO embarrassed by my outfit, but I was on point! Once we got there, they realized they were the ones who were out of place! I rocked that dress like nobody's business!

Thankful! - Bert

I sure wish I had a picture of Bert to put on here this morning! Bert is in our ward. Bert is Kaydon's hometeaching companion. Bert came up to me a few months ago, after Sacrament Meeting in tears. He said that he looked forward all week, every week, to seeing my boys taking care of the Sacrament. He said that it made him so happy and brought him such joy. He said that he hoped my boys were as nice in person as they seemed at Church. What a sweet man!

Bert dropped by one night and brought us donuts, because he thought we might like a treat. A couple of months ago, Bert told Kaydon that if KK raked his leaves every day after school, he would pay him. Well, Kaydon hasn't missed a day and Bert has paid him --- but he's paid him in far more than money. Bert often sends home treats and drinks. Last night, he sent home bananas and oranges. He has also planted in Kaydon a special spirit. He's taught Kaydon work ethic. He's taught Kaydon the gift of giving and charity.

I am so thankful for Bert, and so many other Priesthood holders. I have often tearfully prayed for help in raising my boys. My burden is heavy and I often feel that my efforts come up far too short. I have been told in Priesthood blessings that Heavenly Father would make up the difference. And, He has. My boys have been blessed with honorable Priesthood holders throughout their lives who have taught them, supported them, and loved them. I am so thankful.

Halloween Haunts

Halloween 2016 was a success! Colton was a ninja and he was so excited to go trick-or-treating. Kaydon and Braxton were so awesome to take him and let him collect lots of goodies.

Josh texted me and said that Brooklyn wanted to come over. OKAY!!! She came all dressed up and looking so pretty. The boys came back and got her and took her around the neighborhood to collect goodness. She was super sad when she came back. She said she wanted to stay with us. Me too, Sis. Me too.

A Freaking Shot in the Arm

I got my flu shot yesterday. Owie freaking kazowie! I couldn't sleep last night because it hurt so bad. Yes, I am a wuss. I know this. However, this is real-life pain that I am experiencing. P believes the guy hit my bone with the needle. People ask me if it is bruised. I respond by telling them that it is on the inside!

In other news, when I returned home last night from work there were numerous police vehicles. Uh oh. This cannot be good. Turns out a young man went around the complex and shot every single windshield with an air-soft gun. Thank the heavens above this young man is in no way related to me. Looks like both cars will be getting a new windshield for free with the case number provided. The officer was so nice and literally went to every single door to get their information.

And, truth be told, I was super relieved that it wasn't one of my boys who did the damage.

Picking Peaches

Tuesday night, our Bishop's wife called and had us go pick some peaches and nectarines. Their backyard is amazingly stunning. Colton thinks it's Heaven, I'm pretty sure. Braxton and Kaydon picked peaches while Colton and I picked nectarines. I'll be baking and freezing peach muffins for my breakfasts and then slicing and freezing peaches for lunches and snacks. Miss T supplied us with a good amount of bottled peaches, so I won't have to can these ones. Blessed!

It's an Honor

Last night, family came together for Kaydon's ordination to the office of a Teacher in the Aaronic Priesthood. Kaydon had asked that my grandpa perform the ordination. Last night was the night that seemed to work. Grandma and Grandpa drove up from California and we all met at our chapel last night.

In the circle stood Grandpa, Papa, Pops, Uncle Brandon, Bishop Krum, Don Mendenhall (a previous YM advisor), and Jackson. In the surrounding chairs sat Nana, Grandma, Grandma Nef, Aunt Carrie, Mommy Martha, Baby Brooklyn, Braxton, Colton, and me. It was a beautiful ordination and blessing. To see my Jackson standing in that circle with his hand on his brother's head was priceless.

After the ordination, our sweet bishop said a few words. My grandpa spoke to Kaydon directly. Brother Mendenhall said some things that were beautiful. Then, Bishop asked me to speak. Through tears, I simply said, "I am honored to be their mom." "I am honored to be their mama. Boys, you are to live up to the Priesthood that you hold. You are to honor it. You have not had good examples in our home, but as you look around this room, you can see that you have all of the examples that you need. We need the Priesthood in our home and each of you holds it. Your mama needs the Priesthood, so you are to live it and honor it."

Look at these boys. Look at them. I am oh, so good.

A Blanket and Some Legoes

As promised:

Last night when I got home from work, I saw Colton and some neighbor kids outside our front door on the grass. As always, he began to squeal with delight and yell, "Mama!" That is one of the gifts of autism... my 13 year old may never stop being excited to see his mama, with no shame in expressing it!

As I got closer, I noticed that he had pulled one of our blankets out to the grass along with the Legoes Uncle Ernie got him. He had then invited kids (his own age!!!!) to come sit on the blanket and play with him. AND THEY DID.

Do any of them look unhappy to you? Me either.

Last night, it was Autism, humanity, humility, and gratitude for the win.

Seminary Peer Tutor

I got this text from Jackson this morning. He told me that he is a peer tutor in Seminary now... and that he only cried a couple of times. He said that they are just so sweet, and it's in Seminary. Good golly, I love my boys. Seriously.

Saturday was just one of those days for me. I cried - out loud, ugly sobbing - for a few hours. It was emotionally and mentally and physically exhausting. Then, I put on my big girl pants and told Heavenly Father that I was all done crying. Before I went to work on Sunday night, I took a four hour nap. Then, I was all better again. Until the next time I need to cry for hours.

Back to School Feast 2016-17

Monday night was our annual back to school feast. I pulled out our best china (the only dishes we own) and even laid down a table cloth that I got from Kohls for $1.25! I had both crockpots going all day with a delicious chicken recipe (thanks to Miss T), red potatoes, carrots, garlic-cheese biscuits, and of course sparkling cider. We prayed and then I introduced our family theme for the school year:
"Above all, never lose faith in your Father in Heaven who loves you more than you can comprehend." This is quote from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (my absolute favorite!)
I knew, after praying for guidance, that our family's theme needed to be on faith. I found this quote and knew it was the one! I told my boys that no matter what they are faced with, if they will just remember that they are children of God and that He loves them, they can get through anything.

Mr. Tool Man Jorgensen

We don't have a very big apartment, and I have a lot of children. For this reason, I'm all about finding organizing tricks to help us. I finally found just what I was looking for the hallway upstairs. It's a six-place cubby-type thinger. There are six places for cubby-type thingers. My thought is that each night, the boys will be their clothes for the next day in their cubby so that they are organized and not looking for stuff in the morning, yelling at each other. The other two cubbies are for extra school supplies that they can grab and take to school.

Braxton is my Mr. Tool Man. He puts things together, takes things apart, creates and recreates. He is super good at it, too. So, naturally I had him put it together. I'm so grateful for my boys' talents and qualities to get us through our every day!

A Cool Little Story

Once upon a time, there was a mama and her four boys. The mama and her four boys seemed to be having quite a rough year. Things just didn't seem to be going smoothly. At all. Ever. Just when they thought they found a place to live for a year that would allow the mama to save for a house and allow the boys to stay in their school, they had to move out and find a new place immediately. The mama cried. The boys cried. Prayers on their behalf were said and things worked out. The mama and her four boys found a place just in the nick of time. Literally.

The mama met with her new bishop this past Sunday. The bishop, young men's presidency, and scout master came to introduce themselves before the records were even in their ward. The bishop also brought the left over food from girls camp to the mama and her four boys on Saturday. The mama and four boys were grateful for how welcome the ward was making them feel. All the mama ever heard was, "The young women have never been so happy!"

On Sunday, as the bishop got to know the mama, the bishop asked what happened at the previous home. The mama told him that things were just really difficult there, and then on June 11 the mama received a phone call to tell them that they had to be out right away. The bishop looked at the mama and said, "That is the very day that the ward began to fast and pray for a family with boys to move in."

The end.

To deny the hand of God in our lives is impossible. Sometimes I wish there were less painful ways, less traumatic ways, less scary ways - but in the end, there is a plan for each of us and it will all be alright in the end.

In other news, this oldest boy of mine wanted a date with Mama last night. He got it! We sat and ate, then he talked and talked and talked for an hour and a half. I am oh, so grateful that my boys talk to me. He is a good boy with a pure heart. And, he makes me laugh out loud.

Date Night

Thursday night, rather than going to Sam's for groceries, we went to Kohl's for school shopping. Each boy had his own cart and a calculator. They added up their finds and then took off 55% for our discount. They each had to be at $100. The three oldest went off on their own, while I took Colton. Kaydon had a big notebook with a list of his needs. The other two had a list on their phones. I was a proud mama watching them be frugal, and always folding clothing and putting it right back where they got it from, never leaving anything in the fitting rooms - but always hanging it back up and putting it back where they found it. We came in way under budget. We could not have done this without my guys at work. We are so thankful.

After shopping, we went to Subway to spend our gift cards. Everyone filled their tummies up and left there happy, ready to close our eyes for the night. Now we just need to worry about shoes and backpacks.

So blessed!

Layton Days

Jackson is in Sandy this week and so the boys and I are virtually home-bound which is not awesome. FYI. So, we decided to walk to Layton Days on the 4th. It was a mile walk to the park and we enjoyed a snow cone and walked around and looked at the vendors booths. They got to pet a lizard type thing. I stood back as far as I possibly could. Those are not safe! I have watched those shows where they eat their owners! Unsafe!

Having a Hard Time

Dear God-

Monday night, I brought my boys together (who were emotional, angry, sad, scared, tired, confused, broken) and I offered a prayer. I told you that we were having a hard time, that we were tired, that we were broken. I also told you that we were thankful - for each other, for our love for each other, for the people who love us and support us, for the fact that we have somewhere to go and won't need to go to the Women's Shelter. I asked you to comfort my children, to give us the energy we need to move again, to give us the motivation to get this done and to get it done timely. I asked you to protect us, to help us to sleep at night. Then, the boys all crawled in to bed with me. Kaydon said, "Mom, we are so rich in some ways." I told him that indeed we are. Our lives have been turned upside down over and over and over and over again, but we have always had each other - the five of us. We have just what we need.

We moved to Layton yesterday. It's our new home, our new normal. We will plant seeds here, as we have every place we have been. We will try our best every day, just as we have every day.

Please be with us, Father. Please help us to feel you there with us. Please surround us with angels. Please bless us with what we need.

Love,

Heidi

Alphabet Soup

Seriously, though. Can we extend the letters in the alphabet so that I have a few more to work with??

2016 has, so far, been a year I'd like to chalk up to growth and lessons in humility and absolute broken hearts and contrite spirits. It is also, though, a year I'd really like to never have to live again. I have been broken down to the very depths of my soul. I have felt completely overwhelmed and drained and exhausted. I have watched my children cry until they have no more tears. I have also watched them as they have gathered themselves to kneel in prayer and plead with their Father for help. I have watched my family members cry for us, and for themselves, for the losses we have experienced - the loss of a husband, father, son, and grandson and the loss of a daughter, sister and granddaughter. I have also watched as they have rallied around my children and I with utter faith and unconditional love. I have watched my co-workers and boss react to me as I react to my circumstances and my situation with, at times, the least of kindness and patience. I have also watched them text me every morning and night, sit with me as I cry for long periods of time, hug me when I can barely stand, and give me Priesthood blessings. I have watched my friends, my dearest and closest friends not know what to say, not know what to do, not know what I need. Yet, I have also watched these friends send me cards, send me Facebook messages, send me unexpected gifts, text me just because, take me to the DI, send me scriptures to read, music to listen to, talks to read.

I have, at times, questioned whether God can hear me, whether He does hear me, whether He knows me and knows that I'm having a hard time. Then, within minutes, I remind myself of the unquestionable answers that have come to my prayers constantly. I have continued to do what is right, what is asked of us, and I have remembered the words of an old bishop who said to me that when I am doing what is right I have the RIGHT to pray and to EXPECT answers to those prayers because He has bound himself to us when we do what is right. I have paid my tithing, with an unwavering faith that if I do so - my children and I will be blessed. We have attended the Temple, with an unwavering faith that we will feel the Spirit of comfort and peace there. We have prayed together and separately with an unwavering faith that He WILL hear us and that He will bless us in the way He sees fit. I have read my scriptures every night, with unwavering faith that answers will come to my prayers.

Plan A went by the wayside years and years and years ago. Plan B came and went. Plan C was like "C ya later." Plan D probably had a bad word associated with it. And through each letter I've gone. But, that's what this life is about. It's about trying, failing, then trying again.

We have found a town home in Layton. We will be moving there next Wednesday. We will have a one year lease. We will learn more and experience more and probably fail more, and we will also try more. We will be more. We will do more. We will love more. We will laugh more. We will pray more. We will play more. We will work more. We will be more.