Two-Timing

Braxton took me to Cold Stone last night. Jackson was working. It's pretty much a perfect set up for this mama!

I ate ice cream... and all of the Rocky Mountain Chocolate free samples that were on the counter (It's been a rough week!!!!). Braxton showed me funny videos. We waited for Jackson to get off. Then, off we went. I sat in the back seat snorting while the two of them made me laugh like crazy!

Blessed, blessed mama.

Can't Get Enough!

Brandon and Carried asked if they could drop the boys off to our house on Sunday for a little bit. Ummmm, yup!

I really can't get enough of these babies. They bring so much love. They bring so much joy. Being an auntie is like the greatest thing of all time!

Single Mom Gig - Church-Goin

I remember taking my four minions to church when they were so little. I had a double stroller with Braxton and Kaydon. Colton was in a backpack on my back (obviously). Jackson held on to my pocket or shoe or whatever he could grab on to. I pushed the stroller with one hand and the medical pole with Kaydon's life saving machines on the other. That was how I went every where. I got pretty dang good at it. It was the loading/unloading part that wasn't all that fun.

I remember vividly being in a brand new ward. Everyone was already staring because I looked like the crazy lady with a million kids... even though there were only four, they were all within four years and there were medical machines, etc. I was aware of the stares, but never made eye contact with anyone. I was barely able to keep my eyes open as it was! Well, here we were in a brand new ward. It was during the Sacrament, which usually happens to be the most quiet and reverent part of the meeting. Just then, as I have children everywhere, Kaydon stood up on the bench right next to me and loudly asked, "Mama, what the hell is goin on in here???" At the moment, I decided that if I closed my eyes then no one was actually looking at me because I couldn't see them!

Oh, how church has been an adventure. There were SO MANY Sundays that I just could not muster up the excitement to go to church. I told myself it would be so much freaking easier to stay home and it would be so much better for the congregation to not have the irreverence of us! I had many a conversation with myself about this. Then, one day I decided that I NEEDED church. I needed that three hours every single week to go and to be. I decided that if people were unhappy with us being there, they could just go sit in the foyer. (seriously, my sassy self started to come out) I needed to be there and my babes needed to be there. I was one of those moms who dropped my kiddos off at nursery whether they were crying or happy and literally told the nursery leader that under no circumstances should they come get me!! Luckily, my babes loved nursery and primary...

Today, church looks very different. My boys are all up and ready to go at 10:20. We go, and I sit for a good 30 minutes, watching my babes prepare the Sacrament. I just sit and am. I watch with great humility and pride as I watch these boys do their thing. Normally the two oldest stay on the stand to bless the Sacrament while the two youngest sit to pass it. Sometimes, I am joined by one or two of them during the Sacrament. I absolutely love to hear my boys bless the Sacrament.

Colton is often falling asleep right after the Sacrament is passed. Sometimes I hand him my phone to play Candy Crush. Sometimes my other boys are playing Subway Surfer... bad, I know. But, People. We are there. They are quiet. I am where I need to be and so are they. I have worked so hard on not judging others and their practices during church because I HAVE BEEN THERE. We all have our struggles, so it's nice to buoy each other up!

This past Sunday, a young man played "Consider the Lillies" on his violin. It touched me more than I have been touched in church in a long, long time. At the end of it, the next speaker (a woman I adore) stood. She was silent for a moment, then asked in a whisper, "Do you feel that?" YES! Yes, I feel it!! The Spirit was tangible. That is why I go. That is why I need to be there. I don't always learn about my own testimony from the words that are spoken. I often learn about my testimony and feel it grow when I feel... when I am still... when I hear music... when I serve... when I watch my boys... when I hug... when I can just feel my Savior's love. How grateful am I that, even though it would have been so much easier to stay home for years, I didn't. I didn't stay home. I kept going.

Our Thanksgiving 2017

The boys and I headed to Orem Wednesday night to do some final grocery shopping and have a slumber party. Randy stayed up late with me so that I could make the wheat rolls. They turned out pretty legit! Early Thanksgiving morning, Randy and I got up. He fixed an amazing breakfast while I colored. :) After breakfast, Jackson and Randy made an amazing pasta salad for the festivities. We headed down to Sandy around noon. Randy stopped and bought my mama some flowers. So thoughtful, as always. The food was amazing! I did not take enough pictures, as usual. We played with babies and stuffed our faces. After we ate, Randy and I headed over to his sister, Michelle's, house. His oldest sister, Monique, was also there. It was really great to meet them.

Then, we went and got the boys and headed to my dad's. The house was full of family and friends. We were glad to be able to sit and visit with everyone for a little bit.

It was a happy Thanksgiving. The weather was beautiful. The company was amazing. Everyone had full tummies and safe drives. We are so, so blessed!

Nine Months and Six Months

Last night I went right from work to Brandon and Carrie's to watch the babes. I haven't seen them in over a week and I was super excited to let them know that Auntie is still the favorite!

Asher is just days shy of being nine months old. He has two teeth on the bottom. He is crawling every where and pulls himself up to things. He loves bath time and had both of us soaking wet! He is super ticklish and has the cutest dang laugh. He gets super jealous if Anson is being held and needs to be in on that action! He still does Auntie kisses with me and I just can't get enough of him!

Anson is six months old today. He is the sweetest, happiest baby boy. He is just starting to roll over. He loves his bouncy chair. He gets a bit irritated with his brother now and then. He isn't as excited about bath time as his brother, but they both love being naked! He is more of a cuddler than Asher and I just eat that up! His smile melts me!!

Single Mom Gig - Gosh, I'm Thankful!

This has been a great year for my little family.

I have four amazing boys!
We only had one surgery this whole year!
We welcomed Asher and Anson and got to be at the sealing!!
Grandma and Grandpa Nef came for visits and were of course there for ordinations!
Nana is in complete remission from her cancer! She's badass!!
Boys got to spend time with Papa and Grandma!
Boys got to go camping together - the four of them!
Mama is strong and healthy!
P got his angel wings and we continue to learn from him!
Mama has the best job with the best guys!
We got to spend lots of time with Uncle Logan when he came to visit!
We got to spend lots of time with Pops and Nana this year!
Two Patriarchal Blessings!
We have been blessed with Randy in our lives!
We have an amazing ward and the best bishop in the land!
I finished the Book of Mormon, then started it again!
We are so blessed every day with love and strength and faith over fear. We continue to choose joy on this crazy journey because the alternative sucks! I am so thankful that we will be able to spend Thanksgiving with people we love.

Good To Be Back

I've been a weee bit sick... like pneumonia sick. Oooopsie! I thought for sure I just had a cold. I was wrong, which rarely happens!! ;)

Life continued to move while I laid on the couch, watching Christmas movies on Netflix, sucking on cough drops and coloring. Thursday, Randy drove up and he and the boys used the rest of the Boondocks cards up. The boys were so fun to watch. Randy told me that my face lights up when I watch my boys having fun, with no sense of stress or sense of time. They racked up the tickets! I wish I had taken a picture of all of their loot! They smiled and laughed and took their prizes over to Randy who was patiently sitting on the darkened countertop at Boondocks because they were closing. Braxton got a lava lamp! He walked over and said, "I've been trying to get one of these for four years!!!" So cute!

Colton got a TMNT mask. He was Leonardo pretty much all day Saturday! This kid is pure joy. Pure joy! I was able to go to the gym Saturday for the first time in two weeks because I haven't been feeling good. It felt awesome to get back at it! There is an elderly gentleman who comes to the gym everyday. He is on oxygen and is very fragile. Every single day he gets on the treadmill and walks and walks. Every single time I see him, I wink at him and he winks back. It's a little piece of heaven, really! He inspires me so much!

Yesterday, Randy drove up again. Poor guy! Kaydon had asked he and I to join him for his Patriarchal Blessing. Once again, sitting and listening to Heavenly Father talk to your child is a slice of Heaven that I just want more and more of! Kaydon is an incredible 15 year old. He is a miracle kiddo who fought everyday of his first three years to be on this Earth. He is so valiant in his beliefs and in his values. He normally doesn't like a lot of people, but has really taken to Randy. It's fun to see his competitive side come out. The blessing was unbelievably beautiful and glorious. We asked him his thoughts once we were in the car. He just said he was overwhelmed. These little moments are huge blessings in a mama's life and I am so grateful!

We had dinner when we got back. Then, we pulled Braxton in to my room. My peanut is struggling so much in life right now. So much. I started to talk to him and then Randy took over. I was stunned at the words that were coming out of his mouth. Later, I thanked him and he told me that they weren't his words but rather HIS words. I knew that to be true. It's impossible to describe what it's like as a parent to watch your children struggle so much and not be able to choose for them. He was reminded last night that he is never, ever alone. We are all here. He is loved beyond words. When he is ready to let God back in, He is waiting close by. When he feels like praying, he will be buoyed up. Until he feels like praying, we will do it for him. He is enough. He is worth it. He is incredible just as he is. He is an imperative part of this family and he is needed and wanted. Pray for Peanut if you have a chance.

Then, Randy headed out to the car and asked me join him. We talked about his excitement for MacKenzie and Colton to come home. We talked to his mom and sisters on speaker phone. We talked about challenges and tender mercies. We laughed and we talked about the coming week. Guys, he's pretty rad.

Little South Bound Getaway

Let me preface this by saying that I sucked at taking pictures this past weekend. I was just relaxing and enjoying...

Randy showed up bright and early Friday morning and loaded up my golf clubs and bag. We loaded Kaydon, Colton, and Amia in and dropped them off at school. Then, headed south for a little getaway. We drove to Mesquite Friday and met up with his sister, Melissa. Two of her boys were playing in a soccer tournament and we were able to watch both of their games. The weather and the setting were so beautiful! Then, we drove back to St. George to his mom's house. We grabbed some dinner then just relaxed. Saturday morning, we enjoyed the back yard and it's swimming pool, hot tub and porch sets. Randy ran and got me some markers and his mom had a coloring book for me. I sat with my Diet Coke and colored for a bit. His cousins came by. Little Sierra helped me color for a bit. Then, we headed to the golf course to play nine holes with his mom. It was really, really nice. We went out to dinner after the golf and then watched some College football until everyone fell asleep but me. :)

Sunday, we headed back home. We stopped in Paragonah, again. We checked on the house and visited the cemetery one more time... until the next time.

Being in the car with someone for hours is a pretty good way to get to know someone. Testimonies were born. Lessons were taught. Stories were told. Tears flowed. Laughter abounded. It was a great weekend!