These Babies

Sunday, Colton and I went and helped Brandon with the babes.

Carrie was working and Brandon was sick.

We did the basics:

Play outside

Tickles and snuggles

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs

Play in the dirt

Play in the dirty water

Play with the balls

Learn how to drink Diet Coke!!!

These Babes, Though!

Nana calls them "The Toddlers."

Auntie will always call them "The Babies."

Oh, how I love them!!!

Asher is 2 1/2.

He LOVES the water.

Like, a lot.

He loves to climb.

He loves everything that spins.

He is super picky with his food.

He is not talking yet, but has in-home early intervention.

He loves his parents and isn't so fond of Auntie lately.

Anson is 27 months.

He isn't as fond of the water.

He loves to watch his brother climb, then copy what he is doing.

He is not picky with his food and he loves ice cream like Auntie!

He is also not talking yet, but is super social and will smile and befriend anyone!

He is still a mama's boy, but is getting much better at going to anyone.

He likes dogs, balls and playgrounds.

He likes Auntie more than his brother!

The Good Stuff

Look at these two babies.

My mom calls them "The Toddlers."

I think I will always call them "The Babies."

They LOVE water!

And being outside.

And being outside in the water!

They are the good stuff!

On Sundays, after church, I go to the gym

I'm usually one of five people there.

My brain LOVES it!

The sensory stuff is so mild and I just do my thing!

I walked on the treadmill for 60 minutes, then did Yoga all by my dang self.

Except my 44 ounce Diet Coke.

On the weekends, I always have my Diet Coke with me.

People call me "The Diet Coke Girl."

I dig it!

It's the good stuff.

Sunday, after my 12-step group, I was having a HARD time.

Hard.

Like, wanting to drive to Idaho hard.

I drove up the street from the building where group was.

I parked where I could watch the sun set.

This is what I saw.

I talked out loud to God.

I told Him that I need His help.

I told him that I was struggling.

I told Him that I can't do this by myself.

And this...

This is what I would have missed had I given in to what I wanted to do instead.

This.

THIS is the good stuff.

Mother's Day & Babies

What a great weekend!

Friday, Braxton texted me and asked me if he could get us Mom & Son tattoos.

Okay!
I've wanted to get one on my left arm since the stroke!

I did it!
Mine is Tibetan for "Believe."

It fits me perfect!

Braxton says "Survivor."

I was so brave, Yo!

Mother's Day weekend was busy, but so good!

Saturday, we had dinner with Matt's mom and stepdad, visited the twins at the hospital and took Colton to get ice cream when Kaydon was working!!

Sunday, Matt made the most delicious breakfast!!!

My little mini-me and I went on a walk to the store.

And, Jackson called twice!!!

I love that boy so much! 

The twins are getting there... Dante is sick again, but not as sick as he was before.

Lily just wanted Uncle Matt snuggles.

It melted my heart.
We were able to go and kick Ashlee out for a few hours.

Dante struggled a bit and I was SO THANKFUL for my experience with my sick babies.

I was able to intelligently convey my worries to the nurse and she worked WITH me to help him.

I was very impressed with their nurse that day!

I pray that they will continue to get stronger and be able to get home soon!

PCMC

Friday night, Matt and I went up to Primary Children's after having dinner with Nana, Pops, Grandma and Grandpa Nef.

Matt's nephew has twins: Dante and Lily.

They are five months old.

They are very sick.

They were both born with no muscle tone.

They are unable to cough, etc.

They both came down with the common cold a few weeks ago and became deathly ill.

They are getting there, but are still very fragile.

I explained the anxiety that I get in that hospital to Matt.

The sounds, the smells, the sights. 

My boys have been there way too much.

A lot of bad things have happened there, along with a lot of incredible miracles.

I recognize the good, but the scary also stick in my memory.

We found their room and washed up.

Their great-aunt was there with them so that their mommy and daddy could actually go on a date.

Lily was getting her treatments done, so I asked to hold Dante.

The nurse was worried about me with all of the tubes, etc.

Matt kind of giggled.

I picked him right up and loved on that baby boy.

I even got a little smile.

Then it was time to switch.

Lily bug went right to sleep on my shoulder.

I just loved on her and loved on her.

They have a very, very long road ahead of them.

The genetics testing that has been done thus far has shown nothing.

Physical and Occupational Therapy are going to be ongoing.

Lots of cough assist, suctioning, etc.

They have the sweetest mommy and daddy.

Then we went looking for this badass Sassy Pants.

It took us a while to find her but we finally did.

Miss Claire is the toughest little girl I have the honor of knowing.

I tickled her hand, gave her lots of kisses and whispered to her that she is a badass.

She is in a deep coma, but squeezed my hand so tight.

Her mommy and daddy are not giving up. 

And without her speaking a word, I know she is, too.

Cancer is the most awful thing.

Cancer in children should be against the rules.

This little love is a fighter.

I love her so.

I love her mama.

I pray that they will have comfort, peace and strength beyond their own.

Weekend

I love me some long weekends!

I went to the gym each and every day.

Kaydon went with me Monday.

I love when he goes with me.

He is quite the entertainer.

He loves to go in the training room and do handstands and cartwheels and lots of other things that I don't do.

I made protein balls for the week.

I did my FB Lives.

I rested.

I colored.

I watched documentaries.

I watched football. 

Monday, Asher was sick and needed his mama to take him to the doctor.

Auntie to the rescue!

Kaydon, Colton and I went to their house to play and snuggle Anson while Asher and his mama went to the doctor.

Anson is the smiliest little love bug that there ever was.

Asher is not a snuggler.

Unless he's sick.

Then he is all about cuddling!

He is so funny.

Hopefully, he'll be feeling better FAST!

Ummmm... Why Are You Feeding Me THAT?

I LOVE when Carrie send me texts.

She always writes them as if they are from the babes.

"Hi Auntie! Do you think you can come watch us on Saturday so Mom and Dad can go on a date?"

My response: "Ash! Why aren't you eating your cookie?"

Carrie: "I really like stuff I can eat off the floor and the ground, but when my mom gives me something on my tray I'm not so sure!"

This picture kills me!

He's like, "Yeah... you try that first Anson! I'll see what happens to you first!"

Can't wait to play with these babes on Saturday!

Single Mom Gig - Auntie Time & Siblings

I am beyond blessed with two amazing brothers, the greatest brother-in-law and the most awesome sauce sister-in-law. These four are enormous influences in my life. They love me enough to tell me when I'm dumb. They love me enough to give me advice. They love me enough to tell me they love me. They support us financially, emotionally, and spiritually. No one on this planet send funnier Insta messages than Logan. No one!! They will make you snort up the food in your mouth through your nose -- they are that funny! They love my boys and make sure they know it!

And these nephews of mine...

Love. Joy. Bliss. More joy. They are extra-ordinary and my love for them grows daily.

Friday was a bit of a rough one! I texted Brandon and Carrie and asked if I could go love on babies. I drove over and just gave kisses and snuggles and loves. They are both becoming mama's boys which is so sweet to watch! Asher is so dang busy... he only has time for you if you're going to flip him in the air. Auntie does it as many times as he wants! Anson had a bit of a cold and wasn't happy about snot running down his face, but that smile makes everything in life bearable. He wants to do everything Brother is doing and gets super frustrated when he can't.

I love these boys so much! They have healed hearts and minds. They have amazing parents and are so dang loved by everyone!

Just Trust, Heidi Ray!

We got to love on babies on Saturday. Asher is on the go like you cannot believe! He is everywhere, within seconds and in a way it makes me very sad! I remember being so grateful as my boys became mobile because there were so many of them and holding everyone was never a legit possibility. I don't feel that way with my sweet nephews. I want them to stay little forever. Watching Asher be so independent and wanting to walk instead of having Auntie hold him is sad to me! Sweet Anson is sitting up so big. He had some doozies of dumps on Saturday. Luckily, Kaydon is a master diaper changer and even offers to do it for me!

After my doctor's appointment on Friday, I went home and rested for a bit. I was not looking forward to the appointment, but left feeling very relieved. The doctor was able to pinpoint what took place on Wednesday and we were able to come up with tools to help me now and moving forward. She has decided that my body and brain need a break in the middle of the week. So, I will be working five hour days, except on Wednesdays, which I will have off. I am over throwing up resistance. I am ready to just trust the process and focus on the good. No more pity parties for this girl for now... for sure there will be some in the future!!