Friday Favorites

Cards & Notes!

Don't ever underestimate the value of a card or a note or a letter or a journal that you give to someone. If you feel the prompting to send a note or a card or a text or an email to someone - please follow it! I have notes and cards all over my office to remind me that I am never alone.

No matter what, they always cheer me up and put a smile on my face!!

Impossible to Doubt

Wednesdays, at my full-time job, are supervisor staff meeting day. I usually fill myself up with Diet Coke before I head in there because I am constantly scolding my guys to speak my language and to stay on task. It never fails that there are lots of laughs, and usually lots of serious discussions. Sometimes the meetings can be awkward if there is an issue that needs to be addressed. Those are the moments when I put my head down and focus on writing minutes. If something is brought up that sounds like a fun thing for me to do (driving the bush master), then I pop in and say, "I can do that!" It never fails to draw shakes from the heads of every single one of the guys in the direction of, "NO you can't, Heidi!" Then I get discouraged and put my head down and continue writing minutes.

I almost always know about any surprises that P has for these meetings. So, at the end of the meeting when everyone is done and it's time to end and he looks right at me and says, "Heidi Ray, we love you," and hands me an envelope:

and continues on by saying, "We are so proud of you. School will be starting in a few weeks and the boys are going to need some supplies so here you go...," I can't quite catch my breath. I covered my face and he said, "Now, don't get mad and start yelling like you do... we want you to know that we are your family. We are here for you and we love you and those boys..." And then I start crying, which I do just about all the time... and I manage to get the words out, "Ernie has told me a few times, 'We will carry you until you can walk again on your own.' I could not do this without you guys. Thank you."

I sent my boys a text once I stopped crying and got back to my office. It said, "P and the guys just handed me an envelope. It has Subway gift cards for date night and cash for school supplies. Boys, don't ever doubt that Heavenly Father knows us, hears us, loves us, and takes care of us. He has always put people in our path who He knows we need. Mama loves you boys."

Friends, I am telling you that it is impossible to doubt that there is a loving Heavenly Father, Heavenly Mother, and elder Brother. They know who we are. They see us. They hear us. They love us. They answer our prayers, and the prayers of others who are talking to Him on our behalf.

I cannot even begin to tell you what it has meant to us when people have given us food (Mommy M, Bishop K, Papa & Grandma, Nana & Pops, Uncle Brandon and Aunt Carrie, some that we don't even know!!), clothing (B Beck, Sheffields, Laws, Uncle Logan and Uncle Skipper, Grandma N, and so many that we don't even know!!), makeup, coloring books, markers, fun posters, cards, and knick knacks (Miss Birdie, Miss T (Younique!!), B Beck, LeAnne, Auntie, Paula, so many others we don't even know), and money/gift cards (Uncle Logan and Uncle Skipper, B Beck, Nana & Pops, Papa & Grandma, Grandma and Grandpa N, my guys, and others we don't know). These things don't just happen. It's isn't just "lucky." It is people in our lives who are in-tune with our Heavenly Father, who bless us when we don't even know we need them right then.

I was told in a blessing about twelve years ago, given to me by B Beck's sweet dad, that Heavenly Father would make up the difference. I was told that He would bless us with Priesthood holders and people who would help us. Those same words have been repeated in several blessings since then. It is impossible to doubt that He is real and that He knows every single one of us SO much more than we can comprehend.

***On another note, it's always so touching to see my big guys get emotional. I think I've seen every one of them cry now.***

A Cool Little Story

Once upon a time, there was a mama and her four boys. The mama and her four boys seemed to be having quite a rough year. Things just didn't seem to be going smoothly. At all. Ever. Just when they thought they found a place to live for a year that would allow the mama to save for a house and allow the boys to stay in their school, they had to move out and find a new place immediately. The mama cried. The boys cried. Prayers on their behalf were said and things worked out. The mama and her four boys found a place just in the nick of time. Literally.

The mama met with her new bishop this past Sunday. The bishop, young men's presidency, and scout master came to introduce themselves before the records were even in their ward. The bishop also brought the left over food from girls camp to the mama and her four boys on Saturday. The mama and four boys were grateful for how welcome the ward was making them feel. All the mama ever heard was, "The young women have never been so happy!"

On Sunday, as the bishop got to know the mama, the bishop asked what happened at the previous home. The mama told him that things were just really difficult there, and then on June 11 the mama received a phone call to tell them that they had to be out right away. The bishop looked at the mama and said, "That is the very day that the ward began to fast and pray for a family with boys to move in."

The end.

To deny the hand of God in our lives is impossible. Sometimes I wish there were less painful ways, less traumatic ways, less scary ways - but in the end, there is a plan for each of us and it will all be alright in the end.

In other news, this oldest boy of mine wanted a date with Mama last night. He got it! We sat and ate, then he talked and talked and talked for an hour and a half. I am oh, so grateful that my boys talk to me. He is a good boy with a pure heart. And, he makes me laugh out loud.

Laguna Beach, Lagoon

The boys and I headed to Lagoon, again, yesterday. The season passes that we got for Christmas have been so amazing! We have definitely used them A LOT! I love that we have a "free" option for entertainment! The big boys rode some rides while Colton and I hung out at Laguna Beach. I don't have any pictures of Colt because he is a fish and is always in the water. Again, Autism is a funny thing. When in the water, that kiddo is perfectly content. He won't leave the water and wander. He is just so happy in there. I can watch him from my chair. As soon as he is out of the water, it is complete chaos again. We have a routine now, where we go right from Laguna Beach to the slurpee refill station on our way out of the park. That gives him a point a to a point b. That has helped the chaos trying to get out of there.

This mama LOVES the sunshine! And I really love my babies!

Don't mind the picture of Braxton - he and Jackson were having an ice-spitting contest. Just another day with boys!

Date Night

Thursday night, rather than going to Sam's for groceries, we went to Kohl's for school shopping. Each boy had his own cart and a calculator. They added up their finds and then took off 55% for our discount. They each had to be at $100. The three oldest went off on their own, while I took Colton. Kaydon had a big notebook with a list of his needs. The other two had a list on their phones. I was a proud mama watching them be frugal, and always folding clothing and putting it right back where they got it from, never leaving anything in the fitting rooms - but always hanging it back up and putting it back where they found it. We came in way under budget. We could not have done this without my guys at work. We are so thankful.

After shopping, we went to Subway to spend our gift cards. Everyone filled their tummies up and left there happy, ready to close our eyes for the night. Now we just need to worry about shoes and backpacks.

So blessed!

Adventures in Autism - Food

Everyday is a new adventure when it comes to having a family member with Autism. The spectrum is so enormous. No two autistic people are the same. They may have some of the same tendencies, the same mannerisms, the same qualities, the same weaknesses, or they could have the complete opposite tendencies, mannerisms, qualities and weaknesses.

Colton is missing the cause and effect connection, along with many other connections. This one, though, is particularly challenging. Colton does not remember from minute to minute why he can't do certain things, what the consequence of a choice might be, what Mom told him to or not to do, etc. He also struggles greatly with situations. (he also has ADHD, Anxiety, and learning disabilities) Chaos, loud noises, textures, something out of his routine, busy places, and group activities among many other things can greatly impact his ability to deal with life.

Food is an interesting challenge all by itself. Colton has just about doubled his weight in one year. His blood pressure has risen to unhealthy, and dangerous, highs. Colton doesn't seem to have an "off" button. He has gotten up in the middle of the night several times (more than I even know) and eaten 36 string cheese sticks or four dozen cookies or two pounds of grapes or an entire ice cream cake. I am not exaggerating. I can't imagine how badly his stomach must hurt, but it doesn't detract him from doing it. He is literally clueless as to what he is doing. In talking to therapists and psychologists who deal with Colton quite a bit, they have suggested that I look into locking the fridge and the pantry and the cupboards and the freezer. I am trying every option before I do that. It is not a bad thing to do that and I am, in no way, judging those who do. I am just trying other options first.

We go grocery shopping on Thursday nights. When we get home, I spend the rest of my night cutting up fruit and vegetables and placing them into individual bags, then into larger ziplock bags, then into a bigger bag. I do the same with string cheese - one stick in a bag, in another bag, then all of them in a bigger bag. Obviously I can't do this with everything. But, doing this seems to be helping a lot. Because it takes him longer to get to the actual food, he runs out of focus and attention and gives up on it before he eats bag after bag after bag.

For now, this is helping. Things change all the time and I'm sure I'll have to come up with some other contraption to help soon.

Date Night...During the Day

Kaydon worked for some boots that are only sold at Smith and Edwards. He has been so patient, waiting for me to take him to get them. So, I asked Jacks to bring Brothers to my work on my lunch break so we could go get them. Kaydon got the boots and everyone got to pick one treat from their crazy candy aisles.

On the way back to my office, I explained to them that we had just experienced date night. Braxton said, "Well can we at least go to lunch with you?" How can I turn down these boys of mine when all they really want is time with Mama??

We went through the drive thru at Jimmy Johns, grabbed sandwiches - then headed back to my office. We pulled in, I told them all that I loved them. All four said, "Can't we come in and eat with you??" Seriously, how can I turn down these boys of mine when all they really want is time with Mama??

We all went inside to my office, ate our sandwiches, laughed just like we would on a "normal" date night, and I loved on them before they headed home. I'm serious when I say that the day they no longer want date nights/days with Mama will be the worst day of my life!!!!