Farewell

Jackson's talk in Church was yesterday.

My boys are great speakers.

Like, the best.

But he hit this one out of the park!!

He is funny, spiritual, real, raw, honest and SO ready!

His testimony is simple and powerful.

The people of Chile are SO blessed to have him.

He will love the people there and they will love him, I have no doubt.

We are SO thankful for everyone who came.

People traveled long distances and I am so thankful for our village.

Grandpa and Grandma Nef, Rand, Uncle and Auntie, Brandon and Carrie, Papa and Grandma, Pops and Nana, T and her entire family, Mommy Martha and her four kiddos, Bishop Baird, Ryan, Uncle Wayne and Aunt Francelle, Uncle Ron and Aunt Karlene, LeAnne Madsen, Kalynn, so many of Jackson's friends and past co-workers, Shanna and Andrew. 

Our ward.

And people who weren't there who have made an enormous difference.

Kelly and Karissa Kariger, the Stark Family, Grandma Tina (who was gracious to allow us to invade her home after she had a knee replacement and a funeral for her mama-in-law), my co-workers, Auntie Paula, and so many more.

Camille Krum stopped me after Sacrament Meeting and told me that this is tough, but that the blessings are unreal. Then she said, "Sometimes we have to look for the blessings in order to see them."

Isn't that the truth?

They were the exact words I needed to hear at that exact moment.

Braxton told me that even P was there. Of that, I have no doubt.

Tomorrow morning, he flies out to Mexico City.

We will look for the blessings and we will find joy in this next step in our journey!

Soaking It In

Jacks spent the weekend in Sandy with Nana and Pops. He and Pops went for a long walk in the way too cold weather. 

He loves his time with them. 

Doesn't he look so handsome?!

Yesterday, he took me to lunch. 

We got his second pair of glasses for him to take with him.

We just need a shoulder bag and this guy is ready to go.

He is anxious, nervous, excited...

I am sad and worried and anxious and nervous.

I'm sure that's normal.

Please tell me that it IS normal.

This Young Man of Mine

Jackson sent me this picture yesterday.

If you click on it, he's sobbing.

He told me that he was watching his training videos and crying. A lot.

People!

I cannot explain to you in words adequately how many mixed emotions I have.

I am beyond proud of him for the choice he has made in his life.

I am beyond honored to be his mama.

I am beyond honored to be the mama of his brothers as well.

I am beyond sad to be "losing" him for two years.

That word is not being used with any disrespect toward parents who have lost their children on this Earth. 

It is simply the only word that comes to mind.

This is where our jobs as parents changes so much.

These are the days that I sort of watch him go and be a man and be a good, no great, human being on the planet.

I am going to miss him more than my words can express.

But, I know. I KNOW that he is going where he is supposed to be.

Be Still, My Heart

Our Sweet Pam was able to get us a few pictures from our family photo shoot session.

Be still, my heart.

These boys, though.

Oh, these boys.

I can't wait to see the rest.

But for now, I'm designing a mission farewell post card for this young man.

Be still, my heart.

Less than 30 days...

On Sunday, Je'Mari came running into church.

His tie was in his pocket.

He snuck over to Braxton and this happened.

Be still, my heart.

I love being a mama of boys.

I  love their hearts.

On Saturday, while Uncle Brandon and Aunt Carrie took Jackson shopping, I loved on these two mugs.

Be still, my heart.

They weren't feeling good.

Auntie wasn't feeling good.

But we ate. We cuddled. We watched movies. We took naps.

These two bring so much stinking joy!

And yesterday.

Yesterday, my kids ended up ditching school because I was positive they didn't have school.

Whatever.

But this boy and I went shopping.

I pretty much tagged along.

I am soaking up every single second I can with this one.

Be still, my heart.

Jacks and Pops

Jackson spent some time with Pops yesterday.

They were going to work on a mask.

But they went on a seven mile hike instead.

My kids are so blessed to have a papa and a pops.

They love them both.

My boys always request to spend one-on-one time with their pops.

He usually has Mondays off, which makes it a little easier for them to have that one-on-one time with him.

When Pops married Mom, he didn't have any kids... or grandkids (obviously).

Suddenly, he had a daughter, two sons, a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law.

He also now has six grandkids.

All boys.

Of course!

He is the greatest pops!

He has gotten to know the kids individually and makes sure to spend time with them talking and laughing and just engaging with them.

Jackson will be leaving in just a few weeks.

I think everyone is trying to squeeze in time with him before he's gone.

Mama included.

Jackson's Temple Trip

Friday, Jackson went through the Bountiful Temple.

Rest assured, I have zero pictures of him.

When we got there (while the sun was in the middle of the sky and lighting was perfect for pictures), he exclaimed that he didn't want pictures until after.

I should have fought that!

When we left the Temple, it was dark.

Very, very dark.

The only pictures taken: T and I. 

Seems fitting!

The Temple was beautiful.

It was my first time doing a session there.

But, fun fact: this is the Temple where Jackson was sealed to his father and I.

Papa, Pops, Nana, Uncle Brandon, Aunt Carrie, Randy, T, Bishop Krum, Sister Krum and BJ Redford were all in attendance.

It was more beautiful than I could have imagined.

My boy is a stud.

Afterwards - Randy, Jackson and I went to R&R for dinner.

I didn't get any pictures there either.

I was too busy eating!!

He's Going There Today

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has a Primary song that I LOVE.

I often sing it to myself when I'm struggling emotionally.

"I love to see the Temple. I'm going there someday. To feel the Holy Spirit, to listen and obey. For the Temple is a House of God, a place of love and beauty. I'll prepare myself while I am young. This is my sacred duty."

Well today, Jackson is going there.

He is going there to make promises with God. And himself.

He is going there to clothe himself in the holy garments.

I have been taught that the garments protect us.

I testify that they do.

Physically, spiritually and emotionally.

Our dearest friends, Kelly and Corissa, took Jackson to get his garments and Temple clothing on Tuesday night.

Last night, he and I packed his Temple bag.

Today, he and I will drive to the Temple.

We will meet loved ones there:

Papa, Nana, Pops, Uncle Brandon, Aunt Carrie, T, Randy, and other loved ones who choose to come.

I will be wearing extra setting powder to keep the makeup on my face as I will surely be crying.

These will be tears of joy and peace and pride.

A good kind of pride.

I look forward to being in the sacred halls of the Temple with my oldest boy, who I love so much.

Laundry & One Week Down

What a boring, lazy, perfect weekend I had!

All but Jackson went to the Layton game on Friday night.

Jackson took me to get an ice cream.

All of the boys were gone on Saturday.

I literally watched a Lock Up marathon on Netflix, colored and made cookies.

I didn't even shower!

All day long!

Sunday was the Primary Program.

I kind of REALLY miss having my little ones up there, waving at me and blowing me kisses.

Those dang kiddos are so stinking cute.

And there are so many new Primary songs. They are beautiful.

The boys' dad drove up to take them to dinner.

While they were gone, I finished Jackson's laundry for him.

Once you turn 10 at my house, you do your own laundry.

Period.

It's been five years since I've done anyone's laundry by my own!

Last night, I thought I would finish his for him.

I literally wept while I folded it.

I realized that there are only two more months before he leaves.

He's ready.

He's prepared.

He's worthy.

I'm a mess.

It's been a whole week since I've been on social media.

An entire week.

I don't even feel the temptation anymore to be on there.

I don't feel tempted to even go peek.

It's been a wonderful break.

I am up-to-date on my Book of Mormon reading as well.

Reading it this quickly has actually been pretty cool.

I feel like I'm getting out of it different things than I have when I've gone much, much slower.

Wednesday, I go back to my daily Facebook Lives and posts for my business.

I feel like I'll be ready.

I pray that I will see blessing in my business for my obedience.

Family Pictures & Mission Pictures & Babies

It was a crazy-busy weekend.

Fall is in the air.

The mountains are changing colors and it is beautiful!

We went to do mission pictures and family pictures with our favorite Pam on Saturday morning.

The temple grounds were closed for maintenance, but they let us on to do pictures.

Thank goodness.

It was freezing.

As I watched Pam take pictures of these boys of mine, I was in awe. 

These boys are my whole world.

They are handsome. Funny. Smart. Smart-allicky. Brave. Resilient. Kind. Hard-working.

And they love their mama.

After doing all of the individual pictures of the boys, she asked if I wanted individuals of me. 

I said, "NO!"

She said, "Well, it got voted yes."

My boys wanted me to have pictures of me.

I think that's pretty great!

I did a makeover that afternoon.

Then, we went to Brandon and Carrie's to relieve my mom.

She had been with them since Friday night.

These boys have our hearts.

They are just the best!

Sunday morning, we took them to Farmington Station to run around.

Of all the things to do at Farmington Station, Asher was completely content to stand under the newly-watered flower planters and let the water fall on him.

He is seriously pure joy.

Anson walked/ran around, collecting leaves of all sorts. 

Asher tried to break into the fountain to swim.

Anson tried to eat wrappers that were on the ground.

Boys. I love boys!

My weekend wrapped up with this guy grilling some salmon and asparagus for me while we watched football.

Crazy-busy weekend.

Really great weekend!